The Dark Side of Leadership

Transcript of my CC#6 at Toastmasters International

Toastmasters is a place where leaders are made. We all aspire to be leaders . Our generation is obsessed with the word leadership . It starts right from our schools and I am not talking about Bschools but primary schools.

   As a young girl in my school I would always be made the monitor of the class  because my teachers thought I had “leadership qualities”.Of course I could bully, shout and ask others to shut up. It was only in class 10th when my school wanted me to be the head girl that I went up to my teacher and said that I don’t want to be one. Why did I do that? No I don’t claim to be a saint to deny the coveted position. You could say that I was not ready to take that responsibility at the cost of my studies. Well, here’s a funny thing. History has had several examples of such people. Albert Einstein rejected the offer of being made the head of state of Israel.Didn’t Sachin Tendulkar , the God of cricket do the same? As Richie Benaud summed it up , “ Captaincy and performance are two different talents, and Sachin didn’t have the former”. Did that make Sachin any less of a person. If you have not been a leader,it doesn’t mean you are a loser .

      All leaders have not been role models. Remember Hitler, Polpot , Bin Laden . These personalities were cult leaders in their own way with thousands of followers behind them, but are they the best examples?

  A lot has been researched on the financial crisis of 2008 and how the leadership in the US  investment  banking sector failed and spurred the recession. And let me tell you while millions became homeless and jobless, the leaders who made it happen never took responsibility of it.

     Which brings me to question the dark side of leadership. The often less talked about subject . So what are the negative traits that one is susceptible as he aspires to be  leader?

Machiavellianism

Machiavellianism is characterized by manipulative tactics.These principles were first outlined by Niccolo Machiavelli, a rennaissance author in his book The Prince . It talks about ways to get things done, by use of  immoral or deceptive methods . Therefore, individuals who exhibit Machiavellianism will lie, and exploit others to get their way.Machiavelli described dishonesty and killing innocents, as being normal and effective in politics. When Machiavellianism awakens then the leader is not collaborative. He thinks he is smarter than the rest. There's no originality or vision. Often ,he starts marking territories. There were a lot of examples in the Mahabharat. Shakuni,Duryodhana and some even say that even Lord Krishna in the battlefield  was no less of a Machiavelli. ,Aurangzeb who conflicted his brother Dara and imprisoned his father Shah Jahan. Chanakya has been described a predecessor to Machiavelli.

Psychopathy

Psychopathy is not just a characteristic of serial killers. Industrial studies by Babiak and Hare in their book Snakes in Suits state that 3.5 per cent of top executives score highly on measures of psychopathy, which is larger than the 1 per cent found in the general population.Individuals high on psychopathy show little remorse and empathy for others. They use threats and hard tactics to get status and get ahead. These “snakes in suits” may thrive in organizations because society often promotes self-interest over other values.So high is their drive to prove themselves right on parameters that many a times might not even be important. Many such leaders don't trust their subordinates /colleagues and keep micro-managing. They don’t communicate openly and prefer that people around fear them. They are angry individuals. I remember this one time a colleague told the boss that he had to rush home as his father was in Emergency. What did the boss say? You better finish your work first.

Narcissism

Narcissists have extremely inflated views of themselves, with grandiose plans for their future. They feel they are more special than others and constantly seek admiration. When narcissism gets a hold , your self aggrandizement is the only thing you think about. You only focus on your promotion, on your image at work and elsewhere. Many a times you hide your subordinates achievements and brush him/her under the carpet because after all YOU made it happen. There is little humility.Narcissicist  would hide their flaws,poor skills and pretend it doesn't exist.

Overconfidence

“Act as if you have unmatched confidence and then people will surely have confidence in you,” says Jordan Belfort in his book The Wolf of Wall Street. This is sad but true. Individuals who exemplify overconfidence are better able to influence others and gain their trust.But this show is not long lasting,because one day the glittering gold goes off its sheen.True confidence comes from self-awareness, understanding and managing our emotional state, managing others' emotional state positively . When we're comfortable in our own skin, we're a magnet for success.

At times overconfidence penetrates into organisation culture.these days many organisation have started encouraging excessively positive thinking that can have bad consequences as well.. Admissions of failure and expressions of doubt have been actively discouraged in favour of highly excessively positive thinking . Research on two North Sea oil installations, for example, found that despite senior management’s upbeat demand for transparency about the company’s safety performance, many offshore workers did not disclose accidents and near misses because they thought their managers would not like “ not positive news” .Being positive is indeed transformational,it facilitates innovation and enhances teamwork but real picture should also be appreciated. More effective leadership dynamics are likely to emerge when optimism is combined with critical thinking and  willingness to confront difficult realities .

So, How does knowing about the dark side of leadership help us?

It starts within each of us, the dark side of leadership is not an external issue but an internal one. This may cause leadership to be short-sighted, stressful and full of bloat rather than value. As Shakespeare said “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown”. So watch out else the crown might just fall off

40tude

It had been a while since I had travelled to the city. Staying in the small town where I know all the locations like the back of my hand hardly gives me the chance of using the google maps or taking the public transport.It would have been 12 noon. I took the metro from ChandniChowk to Maidan. I got down at Maidan metro ,took the metro plaza shortcut to Camac. Waited at Jyoti Vihar which was crowded being a Sunday afternoon. Chucked the idea of South Indian lunch and instead bought fruits from the baba downstairs. As I crossed the US embassy, I could feel the tenacity of observation by the security forces. They were corresponding on walkie talkies. It had been only 4 days to Paris attacks. Security definitely would have been on high alert.One even followed me shortly.  A lone woman in salwar suit wearing shades was definitely a profile suspect. Funny though I thought to myself.  I had ventured out  late in the Kolkata noon and reached Westside. Ah! the joy of a starved  shopper. Ever wondered what gazing at the colours of dresses in a variety of cuts makes us feel? It's  soulful and blissful to a woman much like that whisky on the ice blocs is for a man. To each his/her own temptation.
     Little did I realise that it was time for me to get ready and rush back to the hotel.It was already 4.My train would leave at 5:30pm. I called out to a few taxies asking them to take me to the United Bank,near Dalhousie square. Initial few didn't get the location. At last an old uncle got it. He asked me to sit. I hopped and asked him to hurry. At the next signal somewhere near Park, it appeared. I have always been wary of Hijras. They get me $#!t scared. The yellow old taxi did not have powered windows. The Hijra had inserted his hands through the gaping open space in the half pulled down window and was touching my purse and asking me to depart from 100 Rs in my bag. I said I didn't have 100. I said I wouldn't pay more than 40.(I know that's lousy bargaining) He said "Give me 100, I'll give you change" I was looking at the signal with a hope that it turns green and the taxi gets ready to leave. 20 more seconds left. Not willing to undergo any further confrontation I parted with 100 Rs and the Hijra indeed gave me 60 Rs back with a plethora of blessings for my future generations.
   After the signal turned green, my driver asked me in Bengali how much I gave the Hijra. I said 40 Rs. He went crazy. He said" Didi, that's way above his standard income from per person.  They should not be given more than 10 Rs. You should have asked me Didi ."
I told him I had no change.
 He said" I would have given you change worth 10. These Hijras get money for no work and here people like me work day and night and earn peanuts". He kept sulking remarking,"Every man has his fate and at times even Hijras". I snapped at him saying "Dada you should have intervened while he was trying to force his hands inside the car aiming for the money." He countered saying " Didi, I thought you would have given him 10 rupees and left him. That is what normal people in Kolkata do.Moreover I didn't get your Hindi"
  By this time I had reached my destination.
It was 4:30 and I had to rush for the station. The Taxi Driver clocked the meter. The meter had clocked 40 Rs. I handed him out 40 Rs. He smiled sheepishly.I knew why.

    I felt stupid at myself , angry at the Hijra and had mixed feeling for the taxi driver .

UN-AIDED

When Charlie Sheen recently revealed his HIV+ status, a lot of people were not surprised as Sheen was known for being an indulgent casanova.

However the media was abuzz with other cases of celebrities being HIV+ and how Isaac Asimov, Arthur Ash and Freddie Mercury had all died of AIDS.

Well,my knowledge of the disease was only limited to watching movies like Phir Milenge and Philadelphia.

Biology in school had made us aware of the 4 ways in which the virus could be passed on.

AIDS always felt like a distant disease in a distant planet.

     Until, last year when I got married. 

  We had moved in to a new locality and I was desperately seeking a domestic help.

  I asked a few people in the new neighborhood if they could recommend someone who could help me be more productive. Someone who could keep my house spick and span , cook and clean so that I could continue to add value to my work.

   Luckily I got Jharna(name changed) . She was introduced to me by a neighbor and I was indebted to my 

   neighbor for introducing me to someone who is generally a working woman's saviour.. 

  Of course a good maid is solution to half of world's problems. Jharna used to cater to the household chores and when I came home after work I could perch on the couch with a book to read.

   Jharna was the quiet types. She would reach on time in the morning and start off with her work. 

   I told her we were fitness enthusiasts and the food had to be no-oil or low-oil.  

  The tea had to be made with little sugar. 

  She had remarked ," That's the case in most of the houses I see".

   She had said that she would come each day except Sundays. She went to a church on Sunday.

   Though she was a born Hindu she had converted into christianity after her husband's death .

 She said that the parish priest's sermon had given her strength to fight the scourge of poverty and espoused

 her to raise her 4 children. What faith helps you achieve !

      

  I would manage to speak to her at times . It would entail rudimentary instructions as she was quite capable of understanding setups of the home.

 I had become very attuned to her work and she had become attuned to our home.

  I was driving one day from my office, when I got a call.

  I returned the call and it was from the same neighbour who had introduced me to Jharna

 She was extremely apologetic and she had called me to inform that she had recently come to know from others in the neighborhood.

 Jharna's husband had died of AIDS and that Jharna had also contracted the virus. 

Every Sunday she would goto the missionaries where she was treated with medicines.

 For a moment I was dumbfounded. To be honest my first reaction was , " What if I get infected? "

Knowing fully well that the disease was not contagious / infectious I still had goosebumps. Jharna had been with us for 3 months. 

We had shared the same air space. I started imagining, "What if she coughed and those droplets had the virus?" What if she had been cutting vegetables and her finger got injured while she must have been cooking. What if her sweat was all across the handles of my ladles and food equipments.

I tried to allay my fears and spoke to my husband about it.

His immediate reaction was," How do we help her?, Also how can I be so sure. After all it could be a hearsay"

       I decided to speak to Jharna directly on this one. It would be difficult as my neighbor had warned me that she shouldn't be quoted.

I asked Jharna the reason behind her coughs. She said it was normal cold. I asked if she was suffering from any serious disease and that I could help her.As  I was speaking to her I was scanning her from top to bottom trying to spot lesions that are symptomatic of AIDS but I found none.

Jharna stratight away declined that she suffered from no disease and drew my attention towards her thick hair which was an emblem of good health.

I was stuck to google to know more about the illness and its spread. I came across articles where in the US parents of a 3 year old,were charged a heavy fine just because they fired the baby sitter after coming to know that she was HIV+. My brother who is an avid story buff asked me to watch Dallas Buyers Club to know more about HIV+. I did. After researching a lot on the internet and after consulting a few doctor friends, I decided to continue with Jharna at our house. I had made peace with science and the fact that even if Jharna was HIV+ she would not pass on the virus . When I had narrated this incident to a couple of my friends they were a bit shocked that we were continuing with her. One of them stopped visiting us.

   A few months back Jharna left our home because she got a better paying job as a full time caretaker.

  I wished her all the best and thanked her from within as she made me challenge my conscience ,intellect and moral ground. 

  We live in an age where a lot of stigma is attached to people who are HIV+. What if the simple wife like Jharna  got it from her husband? What if that Jharna's daughter got the virus from her mother? What if the guy travelling in the train seated next to you got it through improper blood transfusion while battling in the war?

The deadly virus only hits you when you come to know of someone in your vicinity battling with it.

Not everyone is famous as Charlie Sheen. Some need our aid to battle it.

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