Saturday, August 4, 2012


As the nation was exulting in the victory of Saina Nehwal,I was sitting with another female friend at a CCD (no pub ,no discotheque) in the heart of city and discussing India’s medal tally at around 7 pm(not late at night). I would mention we were both in “decent,sleeved” kurtas and jeans. Meanwhile waiting for another friend to return from office and to join us at CCD. Just when the other friend entered CCD and removed her wind cheater(as it was raining outside).
 Some guy inside CCD commented out loud “What should I do when a girl is taking off her jacket?”
It took a moment for us to understand that he was shouting that loud on phone to someone and thus ensued the verbal duel,when we got up and asked the guy “ Excuse me, What the hell are you think you are doing?”
Meanwhile there was another guy sitting next to him,his friend who screamed out aloud, “Sorry, do you girls want to talk to us? Did we say anything vulgar?”
Adding to this he said “Why do you girl keep asking for attention?”
My friends and I were flabbergasted. We went to the CCD manager and told him what was happening but they didn’t seem to listen at all.They paid us no heed.However we decided we would not get bogged down and continued to sit at the store.The guys were still passing comments at us but the store manager did nothing. Desparate to teach them a lesson we called our guy friends.(Sorry we dont believe in the Police).
   By the time the guy friends entered these guys were gone and so was the store manager. Our guy friends shouted at the waiters asking them for the store manager’s number,who we were told fled to a neighbourhood CCD outlet.The next part was all the more interesting. People at CCD started telling us to keep quiet as we were spoiling their mood.A long verbal duel ensued but we made it clear that we wont leave untill the manager comes back.

When we confronted the manager ,he said he could do nothing as the guys in question were regular customers who frequented the place 4-5 times a day and that he was not allowed to take action against customers. When we told him that if it were to happen to any female of his family he became aggressive and told us not to make it personal.
 The end result was helplessness that we three ladies had to face.I wish I knew  those swashbuckling Angelina Jolie shots. I know that the "male gaze" is probably evolutionary and anthropological and cant be helped,but passing lewd comments is not humane.Go out ladies and learn some Karate.

P.S  Sorry Saina,I will quit badminton and learn Karate.
I am sure Saina,you will understand this change of plan because all we want is dignity and equality in society.


Hermetica said...

This pains me to see that all these supposed upmarket places have no clue of how to deal with such hooliganism. And such men are sadly becoming the norm. Why is there a dearth of men who would love, respect and care femininity as much as women? Such behavior by those men and the staff of CCD is absolutely preposterous.

anisha said...

It is sad to see these hooligans belong to the same society in which we are. Karate is great for self dence and confidence. Nd i just realized we have more educated hooligans than uneducated ones.

Trisha said...

Hats off Sneha for raising your voice against it! Most people would either have ignored it, or preferred to leave the place. That is probably one of the reasons why acts like these continue to happen with such impunity. Your spirit continues to amaze me! Respect. Keep up the good work...

sunita gundesha said...

way to go sneha
proud of u n ashamed to b in a land where suppossedly women r considered goddesses but treated worst than.....

Atul Prasad said...

2 things you must do so that this does not stay limited to a blog

a) write to a local newspaper (telegraph?)
b) reach out to the CCD management (not the franchise), they have some social connections, may be write on their facebook page., tweet to them whatever.

funky-philosopher said...

its happened to me a couple of times, in reputed shops, and people get so intrigued when you actually try to question something wrong! i mean, they don't even get the simple point that it would do them good as well. "yaar, isko hi kyu itna problem hai, dekho sab log to normally baithe hain". if this is not painful enough, "lagta hai ye ladki jhagdaa karegi. chalo yaha se". in fact, most often, they are even ready to pay More and leave, to keep things hush hush. just be non-confrontational, you see, the society is so peace-loving.

funky-philosopher said...

at one of the instances, a concerned elderly offered me a hasty advice: beta, achhe ghar ki ladkiya dukaan me aise behes nahi karti. yahi log kahi baahar me tumko mil gaye to kya karogi? shaanti se maamla suljhaana seekho, nahi to future me bahut problem hoga.

Anonymous said...

My blood boils when I see this kind of behaviour. Unfortunately its extremely common. So my blood boils a lot. I also dislike the idea of falling back on male friends for help. What often works it to be able to corner such perverse anti-social elements one at a time and thrash them. So keep up the KARATE. There is cowardice in this gang behaviour.
Another option is to report this to the CCD head quarters and/or write to the papers. The climate is favourable right now for such reporting.
I would like to see self defence introduced as a compulsory subject for female school girls. :)