SNAP & SHOT

I am in my early twenties and have actually turned a way too schizophrenic…..that just can explain my long absence from blogosphere…
It could even be a PTSD(post trauma stress disorder) after what happened when I ended up in a get-to-gether (which I now so avoid..)
While my parents were busy confabulating with other folks I ran into their old friends at one table..
Mehta Uncle started off
“So, shrill what next??MBA ,IAS,GRE….???”
And as I spurt out that reply which my people so heartily dislike…
”I don’t know, ummm….have yet to figure out”
Mehta Uncle continued to proffer pearls of wisdom..“Why not try for an MBA ??”…hehe...Mediocre But Arrogant…It reminded me of..
“All engineers go for it…helps you earn manifold of what you get as an engineer. And then there is no Brand as Brand IIM…”
I wonder who created it and fanned this craze..…
“just get through this one and the world becomes your oyster..u’ll have a farmhouse in Australia,penthouse in manhattan …
I added..what else uncle…??Swimming pool in French Riviera and luxury loo in Las Vegas??...
He agreed “yes..yes..why not,why not definitely..see u already are so ambitious…just a bit disillusioned..never mind..
Know what??I’ll introduce you to my bestfriend’s brother’s wife’s sisters’s grandson who’s just got into IIM-A and already got a summer Intern at an investment bank:”
I asked…”U still think I-banks are that respectable after all that happened….”
He later added in a serious tenor “But remember smart and good looking ppl are always at an advantage in a profession like that and will have an edge over you”
I gushed out in my mind“Excuse me!!Was that supposed to be a warning or advice”
But I didn’t say anything coz it would again start that old humdrum of
“Girl you should know to respect elders….blahhh…blahh..not to argue with them and never to answer them back…Is that what ur parents have taught you??”..I’ve always seen that every elderly person be it your college admin people, the corrupt TTE in train or morally bankrupt Govt. clerk will use the above lines as their trump card when they’ll realize that there’s nothing logical they have to say against your point..
Time for the next career counseling by Mr.Sharma
“Beta, I tell u, u should join the IAS(read:Indian Artifice Services)…There is nothing like it…u’ll have a royal life..will roam in cars with beacon and sirening all about..making your way across traffic…u’ll have a retinue of staff to answer under your beck and call..people all around will salute u ..and respectably call u”MADAM…” “your children will get the best of education and yes u can also earn a lot of money if you want to(winkingly)…..Of course you’ll get to order the general public and masses and keep the entire city/state under your control……..How proud will your parents be and society will treat them with so much of izzat if only u fulfill this dream of theirs……”

Hmmm…I thought it was supposed to be UPSC..Union PUBLIC SERVICE commission but here in the above monologue there was no mere mention of the public service…what about the half-dozen of transfer and suspension orders within a month when you want things to be put right. What about feeling like a piece of trash when working with ministers who cant make a difference between a and z but are busy slicing their birthday cakes..

Why should Gupta Uncle stay shut??
”Ohhhh…No, why waste all those four years of strenuous effort u spent trying to become an engineer??”
Hmmm..I smiled…4 years of hard work…my room mate back in colg will start rolling on the floor with laughter if she gets to know the existence of this statement in my context..
Uncle continued “Our research facilities in India are in shambolic condition…write GRE(Great Racism Experience)…Its damn easy I tell you..and go get an M.S and continue it up to Ph.D in US…join some research lab..Life of a scientist is so convenient..All day in lab…you wont even have to work in the smoke effusing Steel Plants...Who knows you could be our next Madame Curie??”
This is what was going in my mind..Thank you uncle for such great expectations,but I am too restless to stay and sit in the lab..restless and cursed enough to break or damage any experiment results’…and far too DESI to leave the country..I have no characteristics of a great scientist…I don’t get involved in numbers and figures,and magical solutions to complicated problems in the bathroom and I love snoring at night for hours.
And just then a voice descended which I thought was God sent; of a lady who shouted out my name aloud from the other end of the lawn…
In no time I excused myself from the league of extra-ordinary gentlemen and approached the desperate housewives…The bevy of women whom I offered a polite Namaste to… were desperate for a different reason
For quite sometime It had seemed to me that the entire universe had only one thing to say to me ever since I joined college and here it went again with Mehta Aunty ”Ohhhh…shrill how thin have you grown…Diet??? U girls today all wanting to attain size zero….how dark has your complexion become??”
The same IVRS like reponse from my side
“Ohhhh…Aunty the Goddamn MESS food is the reason for all this..raison d’etre”
This is how Sharma aunty started..words pouring out from those heavily lipsticked pout ”Arey Beta..Ditch what uncles say…A girl however bristling with degrees is incomplete if she doesn’t find a suitable match..education and ambition is fine but not too the extent that you fall short of good guys in the community…remember no guy would ever like a girl more qualified,educated or rich than him…”
“She should know to cook,sew and be polite and courteous to all and look after the house..”
God!!From frying pan to fire!!! I was better off with Uncles there,so what if it came at the cost of passive smoking and choking my lungs…
I was now in a brain haywire situation….
Adding to all this..Gupta aunty delivered the coup de grace by saying..
“Ohh dear you’ve become so pretty..and in about a year u’ll even start to work…wow!! U remember my son Mohan..yeah he’s a doctor in the army now..he’s here why don’t the two of U meet sometime..look!!he’s right there…”
SOS I messaged mom and pressed the panic button on my cell..
“DAD,you’ll have to take me out of this place..right now”
To be continued..........