AWE SCAR!

My tryst with the Oscars dates back to 1999.

I had watched the entire ceremony as Shekhar Kapoor’s Elizabeth had been nominated . With such a direct Indian connect there were bound to be questions raised in the subsequent quizzes .Interestingly the etymology of the Oscars is disputed.One biography of actress Bette Davis claims that she named the Oscar after her first husband, band leader Harmon Oscar Nelson. Another claimed origin is that the Academy's Executive Secretary,Margaret Herrick, first saw the award in 1931 and made reference to the statuette's reminding her of her "Uncle Oscar" 

  Whoopi Goldberg I remember had hosted the 1999 Oscars but was hilarious enough to make a novice like me laugh.Sadly the  internet  hadn't seen its inception around in those days but the Oscar tag left me captivated. Dad would pick and choose English movies that we could watch under parental guidance. Whenever newspapers or magazines covered anything on the Oscars I would read the entire story and dig deeper into it.  After all these years of following Oscars so closely,I am still enthralled by them and will continue to be. The academy comprises of intellectuals who celebrate victory of human spirit. The Academy embraces all and loves movies with a social message especially that of an individual’s strength. The indomitable human spirit that transcends sex,nationality,colour .There is a joke that if you want to win the Oscars make a movie either on Holocaust,War, Gay rights or handicap. Jokes apart human rights remain the  the most important issues we face today.

   The beauty of each nominated movie lies in the fact that they are  surreal and sublime. Like most stories the academy votes for human inspiration and pushing boundaries and limitless thinking.They are mostly based  on true stories. Be it this year’s Philomina,Captain Phillips or yesteryear’s Milk, Mystic River,Frost Nixon,Argo and so many more. If not that then they adapt some of the greatest books written. Eg To Kill A Mocking Bird,Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings. Each of these being specimen of great storytelling..

 The special category of animated feature film also gets special attention. Winning the Oscar awards is extremely good marketing for these movies when they start fetching millions beyond English speaking countries as they get translated and subtitled. The science and maths that go behind making these movies is also a different form of innovation. There is the special Scientific and Technical awards given by the academy that is presented before the glitzy award night. The mega bucks pumped into art direction brings out the best of creative geniuses. Imagine dolby sound effects and 3D cinema experiences as cornerstones of technology.

       The choice of anchors has mostly been great with comedians like Whoopi Goldberg,BillyCrystal and Steve Martin hosting it more than once and  pleasing everyone with their satirical humour. Ellen was a pleasant surprise this year too. Her style was queer. My favourite joke was the jibe she made at Jonah Hill.. Here  is the entire joke summary. I have  also loved the concept of best music scores of the year interspersing the awards.It is done in a very neat fashion. Even better was when Hugh Jackman was the musical host in 2009. Though we didn’t see Tom Hanks in the audience this year but we saw the real life Captain Phillips and Philomina. Barkhad Abdi was nominated in his debut role of Somali pirate after he gave up his limousine driver's job at Minnesota in real life. Contrary to last year there were no political surprises. Last year  Michelle Obama was videocalled to announce the best movie that left a lot of fans and audience in a tizzy. Never before had this happened.This year The academy announced that it would be unveiling its  museum in 2017. Now I know when to visit  USA and do more than just walk on the Hollywood walk of fame.

    If you are a documentary person make sure you watch the listed nominees for the best documentaries(both short and feature) in the Oscars as each is a masterpiece.Some of my favourites being Born in Brothels,Cove and Inside Job. One of the most contested title is that of Best foreign feature films that invites nomination from most of the countries around the world. French,Italian and Iranian movies have been regular movies in this category.

   For all those who think the razzmatazz is limited to these rich haute couture following actors, gulp the fact that Givenchy and Naeem Khan and other designers  use a lot of local artwork and craftsmanship including the Indian zardozi and chickon . I always find it sad that we take down Aishwarya for her wardrobes at Cannes,when she could simply sizzle the in one of her sarees. What is “art” and “crossover” movie in India is the normal academy movie. I believe a lot of our Indian especially regional movies have substance to put the Academy jury in awe. But why doesn’t it get such a large audience?

a)    If we make movies on gay rights/communal atrocity there is bound to be a national outrage and meaningless politics.

b)  We can never expect a feat like Meryl Streep. Indian actresses die their screen deaths once they bear children. Audiences and directors cannot give good roles to actresses in their 40s. Look at Kajol, Madhuri and Juhi.

In a country that claims to be outsourcing its brains to NASA ,MS and Apple are we intellectually that hollow to not swallow sensible cinema ?So you see why Aamir doesn’t need the validation of the Filmfare awards and the likes.Alternately many of us believe that as Indians we have just too many worries to fret in our real lives so  cinema should be dumb fun with no brainer scripts and of course hogwash songs.

As the famous twitteratti Ramesh Srivats tweeted today, “ We as Indians start finding our slimmest connects with the Oscars”. My biggest regret remains that Lagaan and Swades both didn’t  win the Oscars. Another regret is the fact that a movie like Slumdog Millionaire grabbed so many awards.I don’t think it deserved the kind of attention it did. Hopefully Anand Gandhi and likes will keep making movies like Ship of Theseus and raise our expectation in the future for bringing home an Oscar,irrespective of the lukewarm response at the box office.All that is popular doesn't need to be good.

  Now as a Girl Interrupted my google stats show that on  The Social Network shrillvoices has more readers in Pardes than in Swades.Maybe the blog is Lost in Translation or I don’t have a Beautiful Mind .Either which way I am not going to be  a million dollar baby!

  

P.S. I am still waiting for the day when they will make a movie on Richard Feynman.

HAPPY D-WALL-E!

This is not just another buzzfeed article.

This chain of thought  triggered when Professor Walter Lewin was explaining centrifugal force by the way his grandmother demonstrated its use in kitchen. The professor explains how his Grandma used to dry vegetables by stirring the colander ; and thereby allowing the tiny water particles to be ejected out of the colander. The professor who teaches  at MIT expressed “Ahh.. How technology has taken out the romance out of regular and common things!” Now that an MIT professor has made a statement like that,I will not sound a fool when I elucidate this with examples.

1.   Around 2 decades back, you would have to retain your slam book . You would encircle the birthdays of your close and dear friends on the calendar.You would have bought a warm birthday card and sent it miles away via post.

Now you simply leave a message on facebook after seeing the reminder;that is the lousiest way to wish considering there may be 900 people doing the same.

2.  So Ladies ! gone are the days when he would have swept you off your feet by falling down on his knees and proposing to you. Love has found a veil to hide and this time it is all online.Fear of rejection and embarrassment makes us express our first wish on phone or through chat. That is playing so safe. The very emotion is killed. Likewise you don’t get to see her shock and she doesn’t remember your facial expression either. I have also witnessed brides calling up their grooms in case the “baraat is stuck up. No excitement?No suspense?

3.    Exam results! There used to be a time  when friends would walk  in droves and the queue up in front of the result board that would be impenetrable. Each would get comforted in the other's disappointment. The jubilant topper would be taken and flung up in the air. It would be euphoria that is seen in cricket matches today.Now? You  get result via sms or on the internet and phone calls would suffice for all the jubilation.

4.   So you think you can pretend? Gone are the days when people would feign illness and remain absent from work. Now your employer will trace you down on your cellphone. Or worse install some GPS or microchip to know your location. Worst he might even come over ,give you magic pills to pop and demand you join work asap or else the stock markets crash!

5. You can no longer say “no” to that gaming console your son badly wants . You can’t give him the excuse that Nintendo Wii isn’t available in Jhumri Talaiya. Neither can you say that you don’t have cash in your wallet. He knows you have internet and flipkart offers cash on delivery.

6.Gone are the days moms used to sing their babies lullabyes. Just look for lullabyes on youtube and play them on!

7.What would have happened if there was no hawkeye and no 3rd umpire?The cussing and the debate  would have gone for weeks. India would have won so many more number of times.

8. As a child I reminisce the hours of preparation Diwali took. Right from washing the diyas,to placing the wicks after oiling diyas. In between  checking the level of oil in the diyas and replenishing some 50 odd diyas around the house. Now it is so effortless. You hardly realise the tradition of diyas. Just press a switch and your diwali lights start flickering. Though artificial lights light up,they never compete with the beauty of the traditional diyas.

Here’s wishing Happy Diwali!

  P.S I wish they had an app that could play the fire cracker like high decibel sound so that people could put on earphones  and those who despise high decibels (like me) never witness the noise. Noise free Diwali!

PALATE POWER

Has “cuisine” ever been so glamourous  as it is today? Look at the way it has been sensationalised. As a child I remember it was Sanjeev Kapoor who took the bold step of appearing on screen teaching recipes to an afternoon audience primarily targeting homemakers. But look at what globalisation and technology has done to the food culture today. There are special channels dedicated to cooking shows.Nigella Lawson,Padma Lakshmi and David Rocco are no less popular than rockstars. Thats the power of palate. Kudos to masterchef! That is some reality TV innovation.

     In fact culinary is getting much deserved attention .It is a pursuit that activates all the five basic senses. For engineers as my friend points out,it is thermodynamics. There’s requisite heat,consistency of ingredients and proper curing that is required to make a dish a success. With rising disposable incomes,food seems to be the most happening investment.Yet we have the sad plight of homemakers across the country who dedicate most of their lives to cooking in kitchen and yet receive little or no credit.

    I remember as a young girl the only reason I studied was to escape what I saw my mom do. The thankless and labour intensive job of a homemaker. The arduous process of kneading the dough, rolling the chapatti and then baking it. And then processing vegetables and perfecting that stew. All this 3 times a day.After English Vinglish here is another movie showcasing the helpless “Bharatiya Nari”.This is the theme of the movie “Lunchbox”.

 A brilliant movie for connoisseurs as it explores the simplicity and thrill of a mundane life of a homemaker played by Nimrat Kaur.The pretty lady scorched the screen in 2002 with music videos. Sad! No one noticed her then,but she is back with a bang and sans makeup.

The director,a debutant  Ritesh Batra has executed the craft brilliantly,keeping an eye on details; like keeping  Ila’s eyebrows unkempt,her kitchen not so clean. Irfan and Nawazzudin need no credit. Their acting like always, is class apart.The subtle humour  between them is impeccable.At times you will need to listen to the dialogues attentively to understand the underlying humour. For eg . Nawazuddin tells “how his dad last laughed in 1984 when India won the world cup against Pakistan”. Irrfan  dons that perfect expression whether he is being molested in train or simply missing his late wife.Many moments in the movie pass in silence but you cannot ignore the emotions.

    The central story revolves around exchange of letters with an unknown friend,the only difference being that this time it is  passed in  lunchbox  that lands up at the wrong destination.It also explores the facet of human relationships.  A widower’s isolation and his scruffy attitude towards his neighbourhood kids.His indifferent attitude towards his colleagues.All this changes when he comes in touch with an unknown woman who starts confiding in him.

  The movie is also a tribute to Mumbai dabbawalas. My favourite part is when Ila accuses the dabbawala of delivering tiffin at the wrong address,the dabbawala mumbles “ Aisa nahi ho sakta,Harvard waale aake padhke gaye hain aur Britain ka Raja bhi jaanta hai”(This cannot be true ,Harvard had conducted study on us and even Britain’s prince knows that).

No more spoilers,go watch the movie that pays tribute to household economics. 
 I feel sorry for KJO and Anurag Kashyap who have every right to be sad as the movie has not been chosen as India’s entry to Oscars.

They had tried hard to make an authentic movie,and going by the Oscar “intellectual” trends  kept it open ended (which is making Indian junta scratch their hair)

P.S I wanted to use Vir Sanghvi's presently inactive column's name Rude Food to lure attention nevertheless kept it simple as our moms. And If your mom or wife is a homemaker make sure you let her know about this

THANK YOU!

Thank you Readers!

And a special thanks to the online world ,where anyone of us can be catapulted to the fame.

And with my limited fame comes the self-award function.With the award function comes the necessary 

Thank You speech.

Or maybe the metaphysical part of my brain is wired to thank so as to attract more good things in life.

As spiritual thinkers say gratitude is a law of attraction .

Never mind the overdose ..here goes my speech....

I am thankful to you for making Shrill's no frills blog hit 20000 mark.

I know the blog could have garnered more hits had I publicised it well with  attractive photos of sunny celebrities.(note the pun)

But who cares? I believe simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

When I started blogging in 2006,it was merely a fad.

Blogspot didn't have the autosave feature then and I remember having lost my contents to power cuts as my PC then didn't have the UPS functioning.

Since 2006 it has been a gradual journey where I have rambled about various things  .

The  idea is not to stay limited in  life. I have to keep expanding my horizon of thought.

So I have tried never to  limit my range in my writings.

Of course hues of social issues have been often painted in my posts.

But I have tried humour as well. 

Frankly I don't want to be the greatest blogger. Blogging for me is more of a catharsis and a creative exercise.

Ever since I read about Theory of multiple intelligences,I am driven by the urge to be adept at all of them.

And there in lies the problem of being a  Polymath .

Wannabe Polymaths have always admired Benjamin Franklin ,Leonardo da Vinci, and Newton(my first post was dedicated to him)  and the likes who never limited their realm of thought. 

I want to be a blogger,singer,traveler,engineer, friend, entrepreneur,geek, yogi, environmentalist,economist, athelete, quizzer,pianist, philosopher ,a change maker and hundred things I don't even know of.

So I will keep my promise and continue to write about everything under the sun and beyond as I keep unravelling them.

Till then be unlimited .

As shrill voices...you keep listening!

JANMAASHTAMI!

Oh Krishna!
Thou art great.

As an adult or in your childhood state.

 The naughty son,  Balaram’s brotherly fun

 Dwarka’s chosen one, with the eternal Sudarshan

The way you stand,with your body so sinuous

As if to remind us to be flexible and never fuss

 With that mellifluous flute you enchanted as Murli Manohar

 You have been worshipped as the dark faced Shyam Sundar

Why do people in this world not realise?

That being dark is not a vice

 While Yamuna was poisoned by the Kalia, killing your herdsmen

 The scene is no different today again,with toxins in the country’s den

Your message was clear even then

To worship and respect environment at Govardhan

 For nature around us should be resurrected

 Not some officious leader like Indra respected.

A friend to Sudama, provider to the penniless impoverished

We need that bounty again, as our vaults are famished

 The wonders of your flirtatious dance with the maidens of Dwarka

 But that true love for your soulmate Radhika

That one time when you married 16000 maidens

Only to restore their honour back,after Narakasura’s violation

 An epitome of a man you were

Saving Draupadi’s honour during that horrific stir

The situation is no different today

As thousands of them are disrobed and perpetrators walk away

 From Mahabharata we need that strategist, and that warrior

 That pragmatic leader and seer that even bravest fear
The country is again in conflict
With many forces internal and external betwixt

 Where are you dear Lord? Will you come down to earth?

 Or are atheists right? You had never really taken birth.

 In your delusion your Meera will be

Timelessly waiting for thee.

Waiting for the next Janmaashtami

This painting is the original work of artist Mukta Gupta

SAW DES

The main  gates of the building were open ,not as usual. After crossing the small garden we knocked on the door. A frail girl opened the door and allowed us to go inside. We climbed up the stairs which had pictures of Jesus Christ and Mother Teresa on the side walls. On ascending the first floor they were there. Five kids with biscuits in their hands. All of them were toddlers. Their eyes twinkled with surprise as they saw us. We sat there in the verandah and soon one of them started to cry. Quickly my friend took the baby in her arms. The baby stopped crying as if mollified by the foreign human touch. The other kids as if jealous followed suit and started to cry. With their heads shaven,dressed in tiny shirts and shorts all of them looked the same.We asked the caretaker the baby’s name as we couldn’t make out if the baby was a girl or a boy. The baby’s name was Rahul.

       We enquired the  whereabouts of the other kids of the orphanage . The caretaker told us that the rest had been taken to witness the flag hoisting in the nearby old age home. I was reminded of the last time we had gone to that same Old age home. A year back a group of friends had thought of doing something productive during weekends. When we had stepped inside the old age home, I was clear I couldn’t volunteer there. The suffering was impalpable and I became aware of my limitation as a humanist. There were some 100 old men and women suffering from Alzheimer ,other ailments and the rest were homeless. That was a sight I had never seen.
  Now,the caretaker  ushered me into the inside rooms that housed cots in which the tiny ones,who were younger than 1 year  slept. She  asked me to help her handle the bottle of milk . In one of those cots something caught my sight. There was a tiny white wrap. The help told me that the baby was merely 2 weeks old.That baby had been left back by the father soon after the mother died during delivery. My friend who had come to the place for the first time was moved and very close to tears.  

    Just then we heard sounds of happy feet clambering up the stairs.The flag hoisting was over  and the sisters were bringing the rest of the kids back . The sisters gave us a smile and asked the other helps to get the kids ready for brunch. At the verandah a diet chart was displayed and it was time for their porridge. The sisters called out names of the  30 kids and started feeding them as it was a quotidian activity for them. We kept watching in awe as each one was being fed. 

  Thousand thoughts floated in my mind.

Do the kids get enough food?  Can an individual really make a difference to a nation? What can India do to reduce the poor –rich disparity ? Isn’t  human population really at tipping point? Is Malthusian Economics really true?  Should philanthropy just be a time pass activity?  Why has the Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charities been charged with conversion?Will media ever stop questioning? Is perfection possible? In this world of globalization do national boundaries matter? Is Independence day to be celebrated with tokenism of flag hoisting? What made me visit the place?What if I had not come here and was cozing in the comfortable pages of my books? Or do I simply come here to assuage my guilt?  Is it only on a national holiday that my conscience suffers a jolt?

  Breaking my thoughtful glare,the sister declared: "Its time for the kids to take their afternoon nap. Please keep coming for they have no one. They just like the human touch."

I silently leave and make no promises.

HOLOQUEST

Circa 1998:

A quiz question while I was in class 5 in the year 1998.

“What word was coined by Elie Wiesel to describe Hitler’s massacre of the Jews?”

   I remember not knowing the answer then. The answer, which my teacher later told us ,was “Holocaust”.

Ever since that day the subject has always mystified me.The world affairs of late 1990s and early 2000s were earmarked by  Israel and Palestine peace talks. Israel was always in news and somehow I always felt it behaved like a “stubborn child refusing to let go”. When I was in class 8^th another question popped in a quiz  “Which community has had the highest recipient of Nobel Prizes ?”

  Now  Richard Dawkins would have hated this question.How can intellect intertwine with religious faith? But he would also know that the answer lay  in the Jewish “Selfish Gene”.  

Personally I have always questioned the co-relation of High IQ with being a Jew. Even Albert Einstein and Sigmund Freud were born to Jewish parents,though their religious views were not very orthodox.Also if Anne Frank grew up into a young woman she would have bagged a Nobel Prize too.

   There have been countless studies done on the Jewish intelligence. 

   Jewish rebellion against Roman rule was killed in first century AD. After this Jews fled in all direction to form Diaspora. In the middle ages when they were subjected to legal discrimination,it drove them to money related professions as banking and tax farming which were forbidden by Christians.This along with low levels of intermarriage made them retain their IQ. This isolation however presents itself in terms of the number of diseases that are prevalent in the race as they have had very low levels of intermarriage.Here is another interesting read.

To corroborate further think of the names figuring amongst the top World( Read: USA) business people?

Be it the Bloomberg,Rothschilds, Ben Bernanke,Alan Greenspan,Marcus Goldman,Llyod Blankfein,Tim Geithner,Larry Summers, Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Michael Dell,Larry Ellison and Mark Zuckerberg.

What is common?

Their parents had kosher food on the day of Sabaath.

The current financial success of the Jews has a lot to do with holocaust.  Of the nine million Jews who had resided in Europe before the Holocaust, approximately two-thirds were killed. Over one million Jewish children were killed in the Holocaust, as were approximately two million Jewish women and three million Jewish men. A network of over 40,000 facilities in Germany and German-occupied territory were used to concentrate, hold, and kill Jews and other victims. The horror of the concentration camps and the gas chambers has also been a cornerstone of the 20^th century literary culture.Much has been written and adapted into movies. So much so,that the academy awards has always a joke going around, “If you want  an Oscar Award ,make a movie on Holocaust”. Here is the list of some of my favourite Holocaust movies.

1. Schindler's List

2. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

3.The Pianist

4. The Reader

5.Life is Beautiful

6.Sophie's Choice

7.Kapo 

These movies are poignant and capture the horror that took place during the extermination.The pogrom made the Jews a closed knit empathizing community .A large chunk migrated from Europe into USA during the 2nd world war . In a bid to start their own livelihood,the migrants started their own business. Many of the Jewish big businesses started really small eg. Levis Strauss and his denims,Singer and his sewing machines.

    Today the number of Jews in USA exceed the number of Jews in Israel,though Israel is a  constitutionally the only Jewish state that officially came into being in the year 1948 after UN declaration and  Jewish lobby . As of now Israel has a very high standard of living. Israel leads in military technology research. I personally find its practice of conscription very noteworthy. It has turned a deserted land into arable food bowl by using drip technology. All this said Israel still remains far from peaceful.

   Anthropology and Humanities stretch for centuries and Jews are a big example of that.

If you are wondering what triggered this post.

For all those nerds who are as curious as I am about Holocaust,here Follow this . It is a great chance to know more through a proper course at Coursera.

And for all those who have found this post too heavy.Take it easy.

Just Youtube Sarah Silverman's Jesus is Magic and watch it under Parental Supervision.

P.S Where would a dumb jew be sent? 
       Ans.  SINagogue

Elementary My Dear!!

We all love crime thrillers.Don’t we? The largest number of books that sell are the ones that have a detective going around a murder plot ,trying to put in place the clues. Whether it be Nancy Drew for a kid or Sidney Sheldon as an adult. Not to forget Detective Sherlock Holmes ,the eccentric detective who inspired the entire genre of detective fiction .Had that not been the case ACP Pradyuman and Daya would not have created a record with CID being on air since the past decade. What about that criminal case spamming your facebook wall?

   Not only books but TV too. As a child I was hooked on to the Discovery’s earliest show called Medical Detectives aka Forensic Files.It sent TRPs racing. Not to mention Tehkikaat ,Reporter and Byomkesh Bakshi did the same for DD. Most recently all the American and British channels run thrillers at prime time. Be it Breaking bad,Mentalist,Sherlock Holmes ,Castle ,CSI ,Dexter,Body of Proof and all such whodunits. Why leave the movies behind? Silence of the Lambs ,Usual Suspects, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, L.A Confidential and the Hitchcocks classics. A well written crime fiction screenplay (spiced with bold scenes) is the shortest recipe for success.

   What I find immensely fascinating is the way these American/English stories handle crimes. The entire area will be cordoned and there will pop a smart and attractive male/female detective (who will be paradoxically dressed to kill) out of a black SUV. Ahh! And the best part is when the forensics team lands up at the crime scene. They will be ready with all the biological,chemical,psychological,morphological mumbo jumbo. The lead expert will examine the slides and advise the detective ;at times engaging in altercations. And just when you thought you had the killer zeroed in,wait for the last blow. There will be a digression in the trail and the least suspected character will emerge as the killer. I often reflect on this. Is this really true? Does the law and order work with this precision and exactness so as to nab the fugitive , silent killer?

  As I did my research it turns out that yes,to a great extent it is true in countries like US and UK which indeed have very strong infrastructure as far as the Crime detection and investigation are concerned. The government has its own forensics labs in most of the cities and add to that there are a lot of private labs too catering to forensics.The value of human life lost at the cost of injustice is of utmost importance to the state. Compare that to India. We have a handful of forensic labs in our country and very few courses in forensics science. The credibility of the ones existing too is a big issue. Does human life really mean anything to the state? There are millions of people missing and murdered but those that don’t make headlines are shoved off. What I see here is a major opportunity. If the government utilises the population and boosts crime investigations by increasing the number of personnels in the police force , CBI and CID and equipping the country with forensic labs not only will  more employment be generated but also  crime rates curtailed.More number of students will enrol in pure sciences .The respect for human life will be restored.A principle that embodies a developed country.

   Of course this solution seems to be a utopian dream but it can very much be  implemented. We are just not putting enough of  thought in this direction. Imagine a course at IIT on Forensics engineering . It would encompass psychology,biology,chemistry ,self defence and so much more. It would definitely be a crowd puller as so many of us have grown up adoring detectives. 
Why has this never occurred to the politicians sitting in the legislature? 
Probably because they are afraid they will be hunted down by a strong investigation system.
That is the end of this whodunit. 
Elementary! My dear watch son!

aMen!

Last week I witnessed something .

I witnessed one of the most vibrant moving canvasses in front of my eyes. I was at Varanasi with friends.No I hadn’t seen Arjun Rampal but something as soothing to my eyes. We  have all heard about the grandeur of the Ganges aarti by the ghats of Varanasi.Here is something I saw in addition to the spectacular beauty of the Arti that to my astonishment doesn’t turn up in a google search and finds no mention in any blog either.

My friend very casually mentioned about the last visit where she has seen handsome(read:hot) pundits by the ghats performing the aarti. Of course I hadn’t paid much attention to her words as I was all soaked up in spirituality.Moreover you wont imagine good looking men all queued up at a ghat in Varanasi.

But Lo and Behold! As soon as our boats perched at the Ganga water front at the famous Dashashwamedh Ghat I saw something I had never seen before. The air chanted of cymbals and smelled of marigold.The bell chimes cast a spell as the entire audience was gazing wholeheartedly at the aarti being done in front of us.

As for me the artist in me was aroused. It was a dark cold night. The ghats were ancestral.The scene in front me was iridescent with handsome men so neatly wrapped in silk dhoti and colourful kurta that accentuated their slim waist and masculine physique.Initially I was hesitant in appreciating the pulchritude of the sight before my eyes for these men were performing a holy service.Later as the event progressed I realised that the entire exercise before our eyes was indeed a performing art . Art for me is solely a matter of appreciation and reverence. As these pundits took the heavy lamps in their hands that only flaunted their toned biceps and arms,I couldn’t help but draw even more closely towards them to have a look.I was awestruck at the finesse in their wrists which turned the incense sticks with such grace.It was divine to see them pour the holy ganga jal around their feet in a semi circle so in sync . It was exalting to see their hands wave the fluffy wand in the air right and left.They enthralled  the entire audience by holding  those heavy brass lamps and making  circular flights of fire in the air.

 It was a brilliantly choreographed show that ended in the pundits blowing the conchs.We i.e my friend and I stood right in front of them with our backs facing the Ganges and looked at them in a trance. The Pundits noticed us too,continuously gazing at them. We were unabashed in our admiration.

Connoisseurs of male handsomeness or Adam teasers were we?

I surely had to pass on this information to my female friends for them to witness this “handsome” show.

   And today as I recount that incident the feminist in me thinks about why is there no concept of adam teasing in retribution to whatever keeps happening on the streets with every single girl of the country.Had there been pretty ladies doing the sandhya aarti I am sure the entire country would have known,with thousands of pictures and videos of youtube just like any other beauty contest. Why is it that her beauty and body is not respected for its rock like strength that braves monthly cycles to give birth to an entire generation but is looked at with lascivious eyes as an object for sexual pleasure. Why do so many male eyes  probe every single part of her body and make her feel visually raped?Why is it that four men together have to pounce on her as if she were a football?

Why is it that she has to fight for her life for no fault of hers ?How does this kind of libido exhibit in these rapists and eve teasers? Just because  she wanted to come to a place where she could study and happened to travel in a public transport because her parents were extremely poor. Why do I constantly write about such issues?

Why is it that the face of rapists is always that of a man?

What is wrong with this percentage of guys?

Yes , I being  a feminist I worry for the future of my gender.More importantly being an Indian I am worried about the future of my country,for we all know that a country cannot progress without equal opportunity given to 50% of the population.We feminists are often sneered for vociferously crying for our rights. We are undeterred because at least we have a sense of purpose.We are atleast fighting for a cause.Being a feminist does not mean being against men but being against men who are against a woman’s demand of social equality.

I appeal to the brothers,fathers and husbands of the country to join our struggle!You cannot exist without us.

Chuck Review

 This goes to you my love,from my core
 You still have a lot in store    
Chuck all those reviews that define you a loser   
Because we know that you are more than just a poser;
 You don’t know how much in love with you I have been;
 If I remember I must have been in class 9 in my teen  
When I first saw you , you were clad in a white suit and looked like a clown to me    
Until I paused and gave that second look to see that Adonis like face of thee;
 It was attraction at first or crush as some say
 Never did they think the insanity for 11 years will stay    
Pensive in Moksha,while your role in Aankhen was intense    
Villainous in Vaada while Rock On started trends
 My friends say I overdo it and that I look  crazy,
 Hardly do I care about whatever people should see  
Because even when I saw you recently in your movie  
Sporting that moustache,you were no different to me.
 What makes my heart thump,I want to know.
 Your grave baritone voice,or your raw machismo   
What makes my eyes fixed onto you?    
That chiselled torso,or those succulent biceps so true
 What makes me so happy when I see you on screen
 Is it that handsome jawline or your thick hair’s sheen.    
What people don’t know how wide your  heart spans,    
The love for your family, friends and fans
 Someday I hope you invite me to your exclusive pub
 How wisely you have named it LAP , so that people hub    
I am  happy to tell you that I am ALIVE as your perfume is    
Till the day I meet you and that is a promise
 Maybe you if you get to read this poem
 You may call me and I sure will come  
Happy Birthday I will say and will never go away!

MANUFACTURING WOES

India needs a boom in manufacturing to further strengthen its economy.But ask me what that really means.It means 6 days of work. It means no holiday on Easter,Eid or Holi.Yes you will have to explain your parents back home that there are no official holidays apart from the National ones bestowed to you.

  A friend of mine once drew parallels an interesting parallel at her site of Steel mill commissioning. With so many workers in helmets and PPE(personal protection equipments) working 24 hours (in shifts), and with Germans speaking on their walkie talkies guiding and consulting on technology  the entire scene actually looks like that of World War 2. Most of  us working in the manufacturing sector have no idea about  the 5 day a week  and 8 hours a day work model.After having had to go to office even on a Sunday today,here I pour out what a typically lucky Sunday means to us .Us here refers to the brotherhood (with an iota of sisters joining the fray) working at the shopfloor.

 While our friends are shaking a leg at the disco and tweeting “Thank God It is a Friday” We don’t even know what that means.We don’t know why Allen Solly launched that “Friday Dressing” collection. We keep counting our days at work dreaming only about what to do on a Sunday.

    So every Saturday will be a typical day when you would like to leave the plant early. And pronto! Just as you would be  online booking your tickets for the night movie show,or deciding which brand of "daaru" to buy for the night out,you will come to know of a breakdown in the shopfloor.That is how a weekend starts.Heavy hearted you would return home back at 9pm,barely managing to take your family or friends out for dinner.In case you are lucky you will find a table.In most of the cases all the hotels are infested with hungry folks who unlike you have managed to get a table because they didn’t have to face a breakdown in the line. That Saturday night dinner seems to be an ambrosia.You go back home and promise not to wake up early the next day until you are woken up by your housemaid or some vendor selling rugs or broomsticks.

You will curse them! By the time you realise you need a haircut or visit the parlour/saloon it is already 11 am on Sunday. The spirit starts leaving your soul when you decide to take a bath but realise that there  is  a whole lot of  laundry to do. By the time you have your brunch you realise you just have  some 8 hours left to your weekend and your afternoon nap beckons you. After you break your afternoon siesta you decide to stock up food for the rest of the weekend.You head to the market grab knick knacks, catch a movie ,shop , club around a little and bump into your colleagues who are doing pretty much the same.The Sunday dinner unlike the Saturday dinner is more sombre and more hopeless.You don’t enjoy it that much because you see your watch and feel there is not much time left for the Monday morning’s blue sun to rise. The evenings and the nights are a sweet torture .You hate to tell yourself that the day is about to end.You blurt that for the umpteenth time  “Gosh! I didn’t even come to know how the Sunday passed away” You are reminded of the drudgery of existence.You hate to goto bed and stay up watching the TV or facebooking.On facebook you see pictures of your friends picnicking and camping around all the places in globe and the Album says “ Weekend Getaway” . With a heavy heart you go off to bed and the timer is on; ticking for the next Saturday.

P.S. Salute to the blue collar workers who play such an important role in nation building enduring physical and emotional hardships.

GOLD IN KARATE

As the nation was exulting in the victory of Saina Nehwal,I was sitting with another female friend at a CCD (no pub ,no discotheque) in the heart of city and discussing India’s medal tally at around 7 pm(not late at night). I would mention we were both in “decent,sleeved” kurtas and jeans. Meanwhile waiting for another friend to return from office and to join us at CCD. Just when the other friend entered CCD and removed her wind cheater(as it was raining outside).

 Some guy inside CCD commented out loud “What should I do when a girl is taking off her jacket?”

It took a moment for us to understand that he was shouting that loud on phone to someone and thus ensued the verbal duel,when we got up and asked the guy “ Excuse me, What the hell are you think you are doing?”

Meanwhile there was another guy sitting next to him,his friend who screamed out aloud, “Sorry, do you girls want to talk to us? Did we say anything vulgar?”

Adding to this he said “Why do you girl keep asking for attention?”

My friends and I were flabbergasted. We went to the CCD manager and told him what was happening but they didn’t seem to listen at all.They paid us no heed.However we decided we would not get bogged down and continued to sit at the store.The guys were still passing comments at us but the store manager did nothing. Desparate to teach them a lesson we called our guy friends.(Sorry we dont believe in the Police).

   By the time the guy friends entered these guys were gone and so was the store manager. Our guy friends shouted at the waiters asking them for the store manager’s number,who we were told fled to a neighbourhood CCD outlet.The next part was all the more interesting. People at CCD started telling us to keep quiet as we were spoiling their mood.A long verbal duel ensued but we made it clear that we wont leave untill the manager comes back.

When we confronted the manager ,he said he could do nothing as the guys in question were regular customers who frequented the place 4-5 times a day and that he was not allowed to take action against customers. When we told him that if it were to happen to any female of his family he became aggressive and told us not to make it personal.

 The end result was helplessness that we three ladies had to face.I wish I knew  those swashbuckling Angelina Jolie shots. I know that the "male gaze" is probably evolutionary and anthropological and cant be helped,but passing lewd comments is not humane.Go out ladies and learn some Karate.

P.S  Sorry Saina,I will quit badminton and learn Karate.
I am sure Saina,you will understand this change of plan because all we want is dignity and equality in society.

TIME FLIES - 4

I had started this sequence long back when I was about to leave college.Last chapter of this series, always remained incomplete and here I am ready to complete it with a special thank you to friends with whom I bonded closely in my final year. As the very special Ladakh trip saw me visiting them again I just decided that I had to thank them .

Vivek: Had it not been for his nudging I would never have written this piece. The guy who hates being called a “khatta” despite being one ;is one of those sweet and decent guys girls want to be friends with. That may be his deepest regret,as he hates being called sweet. His friends call him “core” . I don’t know really know why,but probably he was involved in the core committee of some event in the first year.

The guy is an emotional poet.He contributed a lot on LAN.He has probably screened every series,that released in the US and UK.A Poets Of The Fall fan.I remember in college most of our conversations would be on HOUSE MD and debates on “why gaming is bad”. Vivek would ask me for a treat each time I was in the vicinity of the college canteen and obstinate as I was I never bowed to his request.A geek who knew about every software released and  would pay deadly attention in class(at the prof).He is quite a chatterbox and is very close to his family about whom he mentions a lot. This guy has always tried to make me feel how Jamshedpur is the best place to be in ,but I am yet to see how and why.

Ritwik:

Together Ritwik and Vivek made a deadly combo that would be a talking machine. Ritwik and I played Name passes that was more or less Antakshari with names of places. He would always end up giving me names of places that had to start with Y or X. Apparently he had memorised a lot of names of places in China . Ritwik would buy all junk aloo bhujia and chips but would never share it with any one as MONKEY D LUFY had to wake up at wee hours and consume it while playing DOTA .  He is one of those guys who can go on about any damn topic on earth and speak no end. It has always been amazing fun talking to him.Rits also has this knack of teasing you at the most inappropriate times in the most inappropriate ways. Together Vivek and Ritwik were always armed with gossip that could set houses on fire. Ritwik and vivek would fight so often on the slightest issues and remain cold to each other for months. Though Ritwik is stinking rich he hardly ever let us know.
This guy left Ferguson college for a college in Jharkhand. Why?

KP: KP’s whereabouts can be gauged miles away from his epicentre.Yes that is his vibration level. Though friends have always teased him for his loud(read: shrill) voice he has never taken things to heart. KP is one guy who will be perpetually with full cash doling out money for everyone in the canteen. He would prove to be an advisor for most of his friends especially female friends. His phone would always be abuzz with calls from all around the world.You could see him discussing all kinds of strategies of AOE and DOTA in the canteen table over a piece of paper.He is one proud Bihari loved by all his friends.

Isha: So this mechanigal was one of the most cool women.When I would hurry for class and leave she would wake up with her toothbrush. As for the day she would remain asleep.Always sleepy during exams she would panic till the last time saying she  had hardly read anything. pronto ! She would rank 2 or 1 in exams. A sharp brain with definitely spectacled  eyes and lovely locks. Her nocturnal delights included watching series and staying awake.Her room would be in perpetual chaos. Isha would be a constant companion whenever I wanted to go around the college gallivanting in search of food.An energetic dancer . This confused girl from Ambala is now doing super cool nuclear science.

Alpana: Alps and I could go on and on about movies,books,places,nature,feminist policies and all life in general.An avid photographer,Alpana got us special permission from the warden when we wanted to explore forbidden areas around the college.She introduced me to the college’s den,something I had missed in the 3 years of college life,”the sharmaji samosa and chai”. Alps and I volunteered together for the training and placement cell and I must say she is very good at whatever she does which  includes being a gold medallist in civil engg.  and a YIF scholar .

Susmita: A foodie,a passionate architect Susmita was this constant walker who loved to go on long walks and I got to share her company a few times. Her knowledge and passion for small and big things has always fascinated me.

Other blogs in this Time Flies Series
Time Flies 1

Time Flies -2
Time Flies-3

De-networking

When I googled to find out if there was a word “de-networking”,I found nothing close to the meaning I wanted to imply .

The word I coined is analogous to the word  “de-friending” only that instead of removing a friend from an online social network you remove yourself from the social network.

While I was very active on the social networking forum sharing articles and pieces I found interesting, a considerable number of my friends were deactivating their accounts.They were on a sabbatical as they referred to it.They had had enough of timeline cacophony or probably realised the drudgery of peeping into people’s lives and wanted to go far from the madding crowd and wanted some amount of soul searching.

Well,I had tried some regulation myself.On advice of a friend I downloaded the app “stay focused” that would block facebook (on my chrome browser)after a default time.

However on weekends I would bypass it and sheepishly check into facebook through IE,but at the end up signing out equally fast as IE stood for Inept Experience .I dont  carry a smart phone so apps got less on to me.

  One fine day I decided that I had had enough of it.Why should I get photographed just for the sake of profile pictures? Why should I vent my spleen and unleash emotions over my wall on facebook? Why show  my brooding highbrow side to people on  facebook?Why “share” things with people?Why look into what my ex crushes are upto? Why come to know who is marrying whom and where they are  headed off for honeymoon? Why come to know who has bought which car?Why come to know which movie is worth watching? Why rely on facebook birthday updates and why on earth wish them in the most cheapest way by writing “Happy Birthday” on their walls?Why accept friend requests from people I barely know?

Thank God! I de-networked.It has given me time for a lot of great things I had always loved to do but never found time for.

I work at office.I work out after office.Do my yoga.I meet friends in person.I read a book.I cook at times.I paint.I learn music.I am clearly more focussed. I realise life is more than flashy clothes and vacations in Europe.In short I am contented and extremely happy.

Damn! But how do I get to let you guys know how happy I am.I cannot share this article on facebook.Well I have not taken a resolution to quit facebook.I am just on a break and will be back when I have had enough of social solitude.

Holy Shit!

Okay so writers can write about any shit!Just like India TV covers any shit!That’s when I thought why not blog “shit!”

Shit is a word so commonly used that for a long time I didn’t know what shit meant.I thought it was the english counterpart of the Hindi “Bhak!”,a mere expression.One day while I was standing in the assembly queue and a white slimy matter fell on my head;my teacher came up to me and  said, “Girl go clear away that shit!”

I said “No Madam this is bird’s potty”

“Argh..shit is a better word for it girl,look up the meaning of shit in your oxford dictionary”I must have been in class 4 or 5 then .

  So a girl trips over her heel and discovers she has stepped on cow’s shit and there she exclaims “Oh,Shit!”

Guy sees that hot girl at the traffic signal and once the light turns green, “Oh shit man! She’s gone”

   Thinking about its origin ,both shit and poop are  Onomatopoeia . Yet they sound so different. Now that’s some “shit for thought”!

Well in our country isn’t shit the most ubiquitous word.Well you see,smell,hear  “shit” everywhere.I mean that with a pun.

And here is a guy who sheds some more light on it.

Meet Mr. Toilet 

But what makes our country so special apart from the huge amount of shit we generate is the way we do it.We ought to take some pride in it.Here read this to know the health benefits of the Indian squat toilet,before you install a new western one.It was laid out in Manusmriti.

 I am sure the toilet table will turn someday! The west has to learn more than just yoga from us.

What I find really disconcerting is why do we need to be all shy about attending the nature’s call?

Why keep it all hush,hush! Of course  people can be celibates but not shit-libates. As Nike’s swoosh says “Just do it!”

If there are times  that  remind  us of the fact that we are but animals,it  is  in times  like these .The time when pressure and stress takes a toll on us! 

Imagine little kids sheepishly asking their teachers “Madam,please can I goto Toilet” and Madam saying "Not,now"

Take a look at this  picture.George W Bush writes to Condoleeza Rice to let him go on a loo break.

If you think I am lying go here.

On the contrary there is a lesson Umpire Dickie Bird has left for us.During a test match at Old Trafford between England and West Indies he urgently wanted to go to the toilet and so stopped the match saying to the players, "I’m very sorry, gentlemen, but nature calls". He then ran off to the toilet to the amusement of the players and a tremendous roar from the crowd.

The Thinker by August Rodin 

 

Could have been one of those STINKERs who spend hours thinking and shitting in the toilet!


Now if you excuse me but I gotto hurry too!