PLEASE बोलो ना!! ( PLEASE SPEAK)

Ok tell me
Which one of these two restaurants serves good food?
Swadisht bhojanalalaya or Delicious Restaurant?


Think.....think...

Bang on! Atleast for the 90%...I know that voice inside your head has zeroed in on Delicious restaurant.
Not your fault as you are primed to think that “ Swadisht bhojanalya” has to be some dingy, unhygienic sub urban place where the lower middle class man takes his family out while flies are hovering all around and Delicious Restaurant would be some uptown restaurant where you could get the perfect ambience to take your lady out or hob nob with the best in town....Why?
Because this is what has become the power of language....This is what can be termed as decadence of Hindi..I wish i could have written this piece in Hindi..but alas! Hindi is a passé..and yes I am sorry I haven’t been able to get a firm command on my own language as I have over English..
So, often when my friends have boasted of their attempts of mastering German ,French,Greek etc. and persuaded me to follow the suit...I have pondered over this issue and thought over..Its a shame on me I cannot speak my own language hindi properly..Shouldn’t we put in some effort to learn our own mothertongue??
In a bid to do that, I visited a few renowned libraries around and was dismayed to see the plight of Hindi books...The last row of books...spun with cobwebs..collecting dust and with no eminent Hindi writers...Phew!! and after rummaging a few shelves when I got one and issued it at the counter the librarian was flabbergasted and asked me “You read Hindi?? (as if I’d committed a serious offence)...
” why?” i remarked to which he replied ..just that there are no takers for it..Who reads Hindi these days?
How true!!! Invariably all of us overlook the Hindi newspaper and hunch and scan the reading rooms looking for the English counterpart no matter how many advts. It has... Glossy paper with either underwear advts. Or deshabille actresses, models posing..
Now..come on don’t take me as a fanatic or fundamentalist trying to promulgate Shiv Sena/Bajrang Dal ideologies of Bhartiyata or Hindutva ..This is just a thought that has been crystallising for quite some time.. I totally agree with the lot who say that English is the language that has catapulted the country's growth in the IT sector and in the world business scenario...No wonder China is opening English schools all across to arm the Chinese people with English.. There’s no problem learning as many languages as you want to...but many of us look down on Hindi..dismiss it.. Why aren’t we respecting our own language?? Why look at the Japanese? look at the Germans..look at the French..Have they been left behind?
Next we come to the MAJORITY Fairer sex’s proclivity towards English
The other day I observed this girl in the neighbourhood(I am in Jharkhand,India) at the vegetable vendor who was buying greens..at the end when the vendor settled down on an amount ...on the being told उँचालीस..the girl asked “उँचालीस meaning?? Bhaiya English mein bolo”
Madam the literacy percentage in india is only 68% and about only 23% of the country can speak in English..people like you could please spare such souls and the poor vegetable vendor!!
And I have seen girls struggling with “दाएँ(daayein)” and “बाएँ(baayen)”..
The modern but poor rickshawpuller now knows what’s right and left..or else how will he be able to help them in transit!!
The next big confusion with uptown girls.. what’s “डेढ़(dedh)”& what’s “अडहायी(adhai)”?
Write it down babes.. “one and a half” and “two and a half” respectively...
This is what my dad pointed out..you will always notice even in interviews and press conferences If its Sachin or Amitabh..when asked a question in hindi they will always reply in the same...but have you ever seen pretty actresses or models or Saina Mirza conversing in Hindi..My dad hits back to say..”if these women can speak hindi in the entire movie why is it a problem on the screen??”
And the observer in me has a nice smile..ok!! I agree the only way to attract attention and to be taken seriously when shopping in a mall or ordering in a restaurant is to speak not in hindi.. “ what’s the price?” is more effective than “इसका दाम कितना है?” How many of us actually retain Hindi वर्णमाला(alphabets)??
What strikes me is a single statement English as a conversing medium shows that you have a “status” but speaking in “hindi” aint cool neither “in”..
As my Management friends would say there is a “snob appeal” in the language..
Especially a few days ago when I was seated in a train and there was this female with a child barely 2 years old in her lap... poor kid was being scolded in English “Baby why do u have to be restless?Mommy will fulfil your chocolate cravings..” with his Dad dropping a few Hindi words “अरे ठीक से बैठो” Spare the poor child..
He might just get confused with both the languages being fed in his mind..That reminds me of the latest admission trends in ENGLISH MEDIUM SCHOOLS..
For admission to kindergarten parents’ are interviewed along with the kids..and both the parents’ and the kids’ English speaking enunciation and fluency are checked..More so I have been told parents’ at some of these HI FI schools also need to specify if they have a two wheeler or a 4 wheeler..Why should they send the kid to “English medium school” if the child already knows english..
At a macroscopic level some of us argue that there is nothing called “preservation of language”..culture is a melting pot of time and civilization and every language undergoes change from time to time..sanskrit is a passé and so is pali and prakrit..but i do believe the reason Greek, French and Japanese have been preserved is because people have taken a certain degree of pride in knowing it..treating it as a heritage and passing it from generation to generation..Not throwing it in the dustbins of history ..that’s my point..and its not only about Hindi..its about whatever your mother tongue is..Hindi is mine and so i have written about it..Or are we plain hypocrites ?? because when it comes to movies we still love our “Hollywood inspired” tearjerking Hindi movies(no matter how nonsensical the plot is) and when it comes to songs we’ll whistle and dance to “बीड़ी...मुन्नी...शीला की जवानी” This still gives me some hope of Hindi not becoming completely extinct at least till the time I live ..

P.S i had thought of naming the blog "शीला की ज़ुबानी"..but that would encourage junta to play THE song in loud and repeat mode and aggravate the damage to my eardrum

ADULT CONTENT

So i sit to write my first adult blog.(hmmm..I can see how excited you must be)
Adult because I’m a fully certified one now.
Earn my own bread and butter and pay my taxes... Worry about the rising petrol prices.Realise what an ordeal it is to stand in queues at the BANKS,POST OFFICES,SCOOTY service stations....
Try to understand share markets.Keen about knowing the real estate return on investment situation.
Indulging in the very feminine attribute of “retail therapy”...
Start understanding the comic strip Dilbert and want more of it to read ...
Feel proud in gifting trinkets and treating my younger cousins boasting to them how they can have scoops of their favourite ice cream without worrying about how much their “didi “ will have to pay ..


Curse the official paper work for every little thing. Each time she comes to know about one of her friends getting engaged or worse getting married...makes her think “Oh my God! Am I approaching marriageable age??”
She manages 2 cell phones..(honest confession..can hardly manage them)
The once gregarious and garrulous Shrill forgets to reply to smses of her huge friend circle as she’s busy...fails to return mails to them..
she enters her room after office and opens the door,its almost a reflex action to pick the newspaper up from the doormat and keep it on the already 5 inch thick stack that has been piling up since day immemorial...
She procrastinates her appointment at the beauty parlour assuming the next day she’ll surely find time...
dabbles in her new found love of badminton or swimming...
Luckily staying in this posh hostel right in the heart of the town ensures that she at least DOESN’T presently need to worry about the LPG connection or depleting gas in the cylinder unlike her friends at different places.She sits with her colleagues /friends/hostelmates in the hostel mess
indulges in gossiping and B****ing about all the crap going at the office..and a certain Mr. X who has made everyone’s life a big mess...realising the mess food menu needs to be tinkered a bit..
Endless discussions on alternative career paths...
Goes back to her room
opens her mail and sees feeds from all the Quiz blogs she once used to frequent everyday,..opens a few of the quizzing links..too lazy to go through them navigates to her facebook page which lacks all the action that used to go on when she was in college..
Pledges to resume blogging
Attends to phone call from her mom who complains “why is ur phone never accessible??why don’t u ever bother to call home”
She quips “Ma Office Office..I’m a pro now...I’m a Professional now..”
Takes the book she has been trying to finish off since about a month,makes a move by going ahead with few pages...and the next she knows is that she has been lulled to sleep..
Untill she’s awakened by shouts and screeches from the next door rooms in the corridor..
“Aaaahhhh....It must again be that same lizard /gecko/chhipkali that must have freaked the girl in neighbouring room...hmmm..let me just switch off the light and go off to sleep..I need rest..I’m a tired soul..I’m a pro..I’m a professional..”

TIME FLIES -3

Apart from the intellectual gratification quizzing has given me…I must add that it has introduced me to ppl who are now great friends..With Time flies-3 I would like to showcase the friendship I forged with these guys and have learned so much in their company

Prabhakar or PK as we fondly call him is an extremely simple guy but yes not too simple as he too has his own share of fun in mischiefs and indulgences of his own kind…. and gyaan unparalled encompassing all spheres..we first teamed up when I was desperate to form a team to Spring Fest Quiz 2008 but the scene wasn’t certain..ppl were hemming and hawing about coming along..i remember calling up ppl on phone the entire day trying to jugaad a team..So, someone told me about Pk. I was told he was an extremely shy guy..consequently I asked Nikhil Dubey a yr senior to use his seniority and do the talking and convince this new chap to quiz along with us…I still remember Pk what a hit miss the entertainment Quiz was…Ohhhh!! If only we would have paid heed to ur answer “Andaaz” we wud have been in the finals and who knows even won it!!! The next miss was the very recent “hot shot “ answer which we missed out on Lax’s insistence..lesson for a lifetime..hehe

Always calm composed..Connoisseur when it comes to music..Tarquin’s collection on BIT LAN always would be in buzz.. will give u news out of Auto,Biz,movies(deadly knowledge on tamil hindi and any kind of film industry..both original and plagiarised)…yes and do not question Rahman’s talent in front of him..A self proclaimed Rahmaniac…he can any day write a biography on him..Can hit the dance floor with all the zest and zeal and can keep ppl raving about it too..
And yes PK’s credit on all our tours for launching “what is sneha eating photo shoot campaign??” also Pk catches couples on his camera on the fests we’ve been to and without letting them know..
u shud see Pk posing for photos..always in style with one different from the other.. Yo!! Pk the year 2010 broke your jinx of never getting cash from quizzes..keep the coins jingling… hope you do join a Quiz firm after the amazing research and questions you come up with…that has so often left me simply awestruck..and keep that good habit of betting and winning..and lemme kno the nxt time u’re in Jsr

Tanmay the “no nonsense” and now the “lichad banker” who as his friends know hardly ever gets off his computer..Full credit to the rich and regular Quizblog you initiated that’s now acclaimed in the blogosphere..and yes the way Pk and you have gone about mentoring and generating a mass awareness in BIT regarding quizzing too is laudable..The First time Tanmay called me to take part in a college event he went on “Sneha aap hamare saath team up karengi Technieek ke liye”
Oh my God!! My batchmate calling me with so much respect but then i came to know that he’s an Agra waala..so cud understand…Each time you try pulling his leg the poor guy wud just mumble “bhak..kuchh bhi!!”..
Tanmay “Agra is so tacky.Is there anything else apart from taj Mahal there??
“Tanmay likes this ” joke became much too popular because he was too kind to like everything his frnz shared on facebook..C’mon after this joke as Pk and I have noticed u became too choosy and selective about ur “likes” on facebook…Don’t care what ppl say..just keep “liking”
Considering that we shared some similar interests like “HOUSE M.D” ( Yippey at last we did get that T ready..) and south Indian food..
each we pester u about joining a fraudulent bank and the back end job profile…never knew you would take our jokes so seriously so as to ask “honestly tell me why do ppl say that this job suits me…” haha..
A great blogger and official quiz trip accountant and money bank who at the end of every quiz would hand us out a meticulously done balance sheet giving us a brief of our expenses and how much we need to pay and to whom…
and how worked up u were when u asked us “Someone said I look like a hooligan…Do I seriously look like a hooligan..??”
Haha..at least the TTE on the patliputra express must have thought so when we were returning from dhanbad when you faked your identity for a short while though..
Had you asked this question to females in our hstl they wud have denied yelling “No way…Tan is a really decent guy” Quite a fan following Tan..Good Luck !!

That makes me think Ashwyn should think twice before bestowing the honorary title of Ladies Magnet to himself…coz half of the time he’s totally frustrated with the traits of the opposite sex..a chauvinist ,a misogynist..who would go on to say “The Lesser the number of girls in an engg. Colg the better…as guys get distracted and lose vision and enterprise in worldly matters in the company of girls”….haha!! “There aint a single girl with whom I can strike an intellectual conversation” A highly cryptic and eccentric personality which I think he considers his USP…who thinks cell phone is a liability and never keeps one..So if u wanna pass on some info God help!!or check out the dhabas near BIT..
Oh..No..dont ever engage with him in a debate coz he’ll never come round or even listen to your views.. A chain smoker who would go and ignite his brain by a cig before every quiz and once got into trouble when we went for a quiz to a colg that was a “no smoking NIT allahabad campus” Hmmm.. was mesmerized only once when in a Spring fest at IIT kgp saw a lady who was circling smoke with the skill that even he dint possess ..Alas!! she already had her beau next to her
This Guy has an amazing intuition and maestro of guess work..High Fives keep striking each time he gets those answers out of nowhere..
I must add his oneliners and bonmots add zest to our group and yes his frnz will totally agree how we do miss his tattle tongue when he’s not around…After also having worked with him in the Training and Placement Cell he will always be courteous in getting food for ppl he knows ;and also girls he doesn’t know...gets in trouble at times but yes nonchalantly gets out of it too..Will always miss the scene when u need him urgently as he’s out whiffing taking a break….

Ahhh..that one day Kolkata trip to quiz at Science city..when we decided to walk from science city to park street after figuring it out on a google earth map not to scale… tell a calcuttan this and they’ll laugh to pieces as the distance is unfathomable..The quizzical way we went exploring esplanade..and my suggestions u guys have always trusted whenever it comes to fooding…Remember how we crossed the thoroughfare near esplanade the four of us running across the square at 9 at night as there was no stop to the raining kolkata traffic…Rosogullas at KC das and idli at Dulal Nandi… Slept all through the lecture while some IIM prof went pontificating about strategy…and hooted at the SF quizmaster this time…chatted till 5 am in Hatia Howrah about anything and everything under the sun..and yes when Lakshmi suffered from that virulent sun stroke on our way back from MLNIT after making a clean sweep at Gnosiomania Quiz fest …what a tough time we faced getting her deported to the hospital..still we all braved it knowing we were together..
I’ll miss those innumerable discussion sessions on gtalk and bakar that have made us a team Q-BIT..and the long distances we’ve travelled together..as we’ll now be busy Quenching Life’s Curiosity…

TIME FLIES - 2

What a great day to write a blog..today I’ve packed lock stock and barrel reached home leaving the college…and as the old song goes.. “I guess nothing lasts forever…”
Now I really wonder why some of the bestsellers are woven along the threads of college life…why sid,akash and sameer made DCH timeless??
Or why five point someone was a nation wide hit??

I wouldn’t have cried,while leaving my frnz….No,seriously philosophical as it may sound..but the joy that you have given me outdoes the grief I am struck with when I leave you……So here it goes:I can seriously write a biopic on the mentioned people..but yes let me see how bad I am at summarizing..

Dear Lax:
I never thought I’ll meet someone so similar to me..yet so different from me..girl!!I feel so proud of having had an association with you…If there could be a “Phunsuk Wangdu” with a gender reversal I bet she would have been pretty much like you..and yes when I listen to the song.. “Behti hawa sa thha who…” Its u on the periphery of my thoughts..
I remember how Annie and I were awestruck when we used to see you go write the exam without studying and that too after having had a good time sleep for 8 hrs..how u would fidget around about one hour before the exam..and come across our room properly dressed up saying..”hum kuchh padhai nahi kiyein hain”...while we were trying to hold onto the last straw as drowning examinees..

How can I forget the pranks zeenat and I played by singing all the “PARDESI” featuring bollywood songs..and yes victory!!especially for shilpika and myself as we transformed you from a total Hindi-ignorant to the sweetest Hindi speaker amongst us..But sad!! I know It’ll be gone in 60 seconds as soon as you leave the place…and yes next few years you’’l be ready with accented Canadian English..Oh yeah thanks for capturing those lovely images..:P :P

Rebel..free thinker..vegan…fitness freak..a humungous hogger...F-1 junkie..geek..sprinter..lawn tennis star..a superb artist,environmentalist, animal lover,quizzer,a stellar chef…ahhh a proud MAC user...oh yeah and an amazing conversationalist..for all those who love masala..churned controversial gossips..LAX is anyday a delight as she proudly says “I love controversies..” and yes for those who take pleasure in knowledge and all scholarly gyaan..enjoy her company…

Dear Zeenat..
Of all the crazy and nonsensical songs and shrieks we’ve made..ahh I’ll miss them..i remember how in the first sem I had this opinion about you of a juvenile school girl as you would imitate voices of all possible creatures..Dogs..cats..Phew!!
And yes need I mention short term memory loss..or the Zeenat field effect wherein under your influence..we forgot everybody else’s name..
Need I mention how u once shouted X by the name Y..and the case being X and Y just hated each other…..the best being how during the end sems you sat for the exam and when the examiner asked you “which exam?” you went blank…no answer at all…until someone else answered that… trying hard to remember why u were there?? Haha…the prof sure had a good time when he asked you at the end of exam…..”now u know which exam you came for”…. the ever creative ,artistic and bubbly Zeenat..paradoxically laziest person I know who found it even hard to go lift a pen from the next table…At the same time I’ll miss the trips to Sports complex…the badminton we played .the nature lover talks..the WARREN BUFFET funda of not carrying the cellphone….those witty one liners..

Dear Shilpika…
In the first year I just knew you as the girl who came to the college on the first day..sat next to me..and the first question she asked me “ how much is ur AIEEE rank??.Yahaan placemets kaise hote hain??highest placement offer kitne ka gaya??”…Ooops..wrong person I thought..Now u know why I never talked to you again during the entire first year..I never thought a day would come when you would become completely stop thinking about placements..and prepare for UPSC day and night..Good LUCK gal!! and keep those one-liners coming..and yes I’ll miss how crazily and whackily we were the first ones to burst out dancing during anyone’s birthday!!
Aaahhhhh…shilpika plzzz…plzzz..dont go to anyone else in the world with your silly doubts…just give me a BSNL call..and yes change your taste…gorillas are a passé…have a new interest…(wink wink)
Hope you rule your jurisdiction with the same guts as you rule hearts..If there was one person on whom all the jokes were played..It sure had to be you..
Dear Neha….
Sweet…pretty…always ready to help…ready with suggestions..extremely practical and lady like…thanks fr teaching me the art of bargaining…and I thought only I could haggle to save those pennies..i should delete “shrillonomics”…thanks for taking me through the nook and crannies of Ranchi…oh yes and the restaurant suggestions have helped me a lot…I really admire the big sister way you would tend to Rasna…and your fiercely independent attitude…street smart..and other beautiful times we spent ragging shilpika shukla…

Dear Ananya…
3 years one room…one word "Thank you…"
You know I can’t put it in words….



At times ppl don’t weep when they see their frnz off till the station or till the time they’ve said the last goodbye…they look behind cherish those memories..and think….. “Yaar…what days…..!!” a tear or 2 maybe roll down at times..and then there will be smiles again….

TIME FLIES-1

Each time I wrote a post on my blog..I’ve wanted people to read it and like it..For the first time I’m trying to lift that burden off me..after all life shouldn’t always be about pleasing others… you Also need to do what you like doing ….simply to please your own self....And here I am with a series dedicated to the wonderful people I’ve met in these 4 years of college ,who have enriched my life by staying with me in lovely times gone by…and more importantly taught me a lot about life..
I sure will retell them to my children and grandchildren in years to come…for these will reside in the core of my heart...
Being a Taurus,I like being Secretive about myself,for once I’ll spill the beans…
There are many I express my gratitude to..A few I’ll write about coz U’ve made me who I am now…today..

Chronologically

PRIYANKA & MEGHA (Pranka & Bondhu respectively) –
You 2 were the only people I knew when I came here..
I’m happy megha learned to smile and started to enjoy life and taking it less seriously because in Pranka’s company any one can laugh...each time I uttered a joke or an “idea” you guys would come up with…
“Shut up Sneha”..yeah and that impromptu “dil dooba” dance that we captured that looked like choreographed when it reached others..
and the number of times you guys would rush into my rooms and then hurriedly get out and ask me to clean it saying… “kuchh to safai aur organization seekho…”
Remember how worried u were at the mess table when I asked U how much I had scored in Maths 2 and you were so afraid to tell me I’d got a single digit 8/25…and from then on always egged on to me to study..
And Gals ..so much of weight loss tips..that I shrunk from 78 kgs to my present state..
“Sneha,how very unpredictable and how very Confused??”you guys would scream…
each time when I wasn’t sure if I would go home or not…If I would goto class or not…I would eat or not..had my own unplanned lost world…
Yeah yeah..my phone never buzzed in the first year..never got those blank calls…and never got to hear those pick up lines in Fugia or Valentines day unlike you….BITOTSAV was great when we decided at the last moment to plunge in and got that bullock cart inside the campus..we were the DESIMAL (pun intended)..With the advent of DC++ and internet We’d flock on one computer..chat,watch movies..
Most often conversations spurred by each one of us shouting aloud from our rooms…at times in codewords..
my Reliance network was euphemistically messy..And the LH classrooms where we would take turns in sleeping and commenting on others…star ratings..I needn’t mention in the public purview of what a vantage point we had as PMC was close to our hostel and we saw all dudes,darlings live and exclusive..
Pranka would come with the whackiest practical jokes…and gutsiest dares…As time has passed..we changed..so have our equations..
for better or worse..I cannot say....I’ll always look back to the powerpuffed gals…and remember bubbles,blossoms and buttercups..

NADU and HAANTHHI:
To these great guys who introduced me to college Quizzing…blogging..reading..and still fill me with inspiration each time we confabulate…and Man nadu!! Its only now that I know what God like reverence ppl in all batches have had for u especially girls(if u’re reading this..smile)..lucky to have had u as a mentor ,friend ,philosopher and Guide..
and Haanthhi as a socialite..u cud seriously make Paris Hilton feel belittled..not to mention that elephantine memory…and not to mention those quirky flip flops..
why would a final year guy going to IIT Kgp with his gang of friends to have a great time partying and Quizzing bother to take a first year nobody to Quizzing??only because she had once requested to be introduced to quizzing..loyalty towards your frnz; I remember u told me is of utmost importance to you; and I realized it in all these years..And this is what you told me.. “I want you to get exposure to college quizzing and continue it because things fizz out easily in BIT..”
I’ve tried my best nadu…
And that adventurous Trip to Kgp will always be afresh with you,Sumit,khadke,Rathore,Anish and Haanthhi..Felt so lucky to have come in contact with Super Seniors like you guys…may you continue your work on assistive technologies and may ur very special dream come true…
Haanthhi..NKV Shouldn’t you be sorry for the number of times u’ve kept ppl waiting??actually..No..coz u compensate for it by giving them the GYAAN..that even encyclopedias may fail..A breathless speaker..who would just prattle his gobbledegook in one dizzy breath..that many times havnt made any sense to me..but just admire him for the way he is…sweet and at times EMO..the first time I met him he cussed out aloud on the stage in front of a Ranchi audience..Oh My God!!what did he just say??why do I keep hearing that four lettered word every time in college…sorry haanthhi but that was new to me..
A mimicry artist who is by far the best in imitating me..and yes..do watch the movie Haanthhi suggests..

Ankhuri,Shradha,Sonam,Monica,Kritika,Khowla—

SHRADHA Madam..ever since u taught me BEE I told u one day u’re gonna be a big proff one day…now seeing ur journals published in MIT’s pyre and IEEE journals..Good luck with MS+Phd at Texas

ANKHURI—what a combination of beauty,style and sensibility and talent..As I’ve always felt ideal Girl and Ideal “bahu”
SONAM and KHOWALA-ur deadly short forms and innocence and woah that dance..guys I know in these 4 years u’ve never reached class on time..hope ur boss is able to teach u a lesson…
KRITIKA and MONICA—sweet,smiling and pure fun..





to be continued...lots of other frnz to come..

SNAP and SHOT- EPILOGUE

And this is what happened after i told them the entire story...
In the car this was what ensued..
Dad..”beta, I don’t think the uncles were wrong Shrill,you better start thinking about your future career..These days everyone’s an engineer..Its like those cell phones which people earlier craved so much for,but now have become as common as a toilet soap..”
To which my mom added..”let it go..children these days are too audacious..they want everything according to their own will..be it work or spouse”
“No respect for elders.....”

I was mumbling...”Oh no not again please...”

Look at your cousins Harish,In the States..aren’t they making their parents proud..see you need to do something worthwhile in life...
Hmmm...worthwhile...you need to have at least one I in India to be RESPECTED in India...IAS,IIM or IIT
You could be a charlatan in USA,but if your son or daughter is in USA that’s the way you’re recognised..thats your star appeal...
And then this is what i had to say to Dad...
(I very frankly hate giving explanation as to why I am doing what...
But this was one time when i had to explain my folks...because i thought i owed them an explanation...after all they were the ones who brought me here)
“Mom and Dad...I’ve always done what I’ve wanted to do...
You guys never forced me...
Ate as much I wanted..ate what I wanted..slept when I wanted..read when I wanted..played when I wanted...made friends with whom i wanted..
So much so...I even learnt to cycle on my own..without anybody’s help..it took me few months..but I am proud you left me to do things on my own...

I remember when I must have been 5,once I was craving for that pastry inside that big confectionary shop...you just gave me the money and asked me to fetch it for myself...while you went far away from the store.... I felt so helpless,looked around the entire store...but finally took the pastry in the basket went up the cash counter and paid the bill...
You left me so that I could learn things on my own...
That one time when you always used to drop me for “sit and draw” competitions but again stood far away near the parking and never looked,even once, at what I was painting..because you didn’t want me to be conscious..and didn’t want to influence my painting...
Never gave those pat on my backs,never cheered,never clicked photos Whenever I went up on stage...
Just because you wanted me to do things on my own..
Learn on my own....
Didnt you say how you lost interest in studies each time Dadaji(Grandpa) asked you to sit down and study and never let you play Cricket...
Wasn’t that the reason you bought Bro that high priced tennis racket that when he said he wanted to play TT..


And this is what I’ve learned and plan to do..
Papa and Mummy..I want to see things and learn things on my own...Yes,I’ll work in what gives me pleasure...fine...if at all I wanna change it..I will..but then It’ll be according to what I’d want.. I want to explore avenues by myself ...who knows I might take up writing as a career or teaching...
I get pleasure in doing simple plain things..Waking up early morning..going out for a walk or run,reading good stuffs,Being with friends...and doing my work with honesty and integrity even if its menial and meaningless to others....its great to me...
The bottom line is Every one wants to stay happy and we as homo sapiens are designed to keep ourselves happy...I’d never want to chose a career option..or for that matter even my man because others want me to do so...or because the amount of money it has...or because its ”upmarket”..
I know people will call me a loser but trust me I’ll be a HAPPY LOSER..
So shouldn’t you just be bothered about whether I am Happy or not?

P.S This was written long before i watched 3 idiots,as its prequel was long back in AUG..
and its a good things my parents dont quite read my blog...
Written while listening to ANIMAL SONG by SAVAGE GARDEN

SNAP & SHOT

I am in my early twenties and have actually turned a way too schizophrenic…..that just can explain my long absence from blogosphere…
It could even be a PTSD(post trauma stress disorder) after what happened when I ended up in a get-to-gether (which I now so avoid..)
While my parents were busy confabulating with other folks I ran into their old friends at one table..
Mehta Uncle started off
“So, shrill what next??MBA ,IAS,GRE….???”
And as I spurt out that reply which my people so heartily dislike…
”I don’t know, ummm….have yet to figure out”
Mehta Uncle continued to proffer pearls of wisdom..“Why not try for an MBA ??”…hehe...Mediocre But Arrogant…It reminded me of..
“All engineers go for it…helps you earn manifold of what you get as an engineer. And then there is no Brand as Brand IIM…”
I wonder who created it and fanned this craze..…
“just get through this one and the world becomes your oyster..u’ll have a farmhouse in Australia,penthouse in manhattan …
I added..what else uncle…??Swimming pool in French Riviera and luxury loo in Las Vegas??...
He agreed “yes..yes..why not,why not definitely..see u already are so ambitious…just a bit disillusioned..never mind..
Know what??I’ll introduce you to my bestfriend’s brother’s wife’s sisters’s grandson who’s just got into IIM-A and already got a summer Intern at an investment bank:”
I asked…”U still think I-banks are that respectable after all that happened….”
He later added in a serious tenor “But remember smart and good looking ppl are always at an advantage in a profession like that and will have an edge over you”
I gushed out in my mind“Excuse me!!Was that supposed to be a warning or advice”
But I didn’t say anything coz it would again start that old humdrum of
“Girl you should know to respect elders….blahhh…blahh..not to argue with them and never to answer them back…Is that what ur parents have taught you??”..I’ve always seen that every elderly person be it your college admin people, the corrupt TTE in train or morally bankrupt Govt. clerk will use the above lines as their trump card when they’ll realize that there’s nothing logical they have to say against your point..
Time for the next career counseling by Mr.Sharma
“Beta, I tell u, u should join the IAS(read:Indian Artifice Services)…There is nothing like it…u’ll have a royal life..will roam in cars with beacon and sirening all about..making your way across traffic…u’ll have a retinue of staff to answer under your beck and call..people all around will salute u ..and respectably call u”MADAM…” “your children will get the best of education and yes u can also earn a lot of money if you want to(winkingly)…..Of course you’ll get to order the general public and masses and keep the entire city/state under your control……..How proud will your parents be and society will treat them with so much of izzat if only u fulfill this dream of theirs……”

Hmmm…I thought it was supposed to be UPSC..Union PUBLIC SERVICE commission but here in the above monologue there was no mere mention of the public service…what about the half-dozen of transfer and suspension orders within a month when you want things to be put right. What about feeling like a piece of trash when working with ministers who cant make a difference between a and z but are busy slicing their birthday cakes..

Why should Gupta Uncle stay shut??
”Ohhhh…No, why waste all those four years of strenuous effort u spent trying to become an engineer??”
Hmmm..I smiled…4 years of hard work…my room mate back in colg will start rolling on the floor with laughter if she gets to know the existence of this statement in my context..
Uncle continued “Our research facilities in India are in shambolic condition…write GRE(Great Racism Experience)…Its damn easy I tell you..and go get an M.S and continue it up to Ph.D in US…join some research lab..Life of a scientist is so convenient..All day in lab…you wont even have to work in the smoke effusing Steel Plants...Who knows you could be our next Madame Curie??”
This is what was going in my mind..Thank you uncle for such great expectations,but I am too restless to stay and sit in the lab..restless and cursed enough to break or damage any experiment results’…and far too DESI to leave the country..I have no characteristics of a great scientist…I don’t get involved in numbers and figures,and magical solutions to complicated problems in the bathroom and I love snoring at night for hours.
And just then a voice descended which I thought was God sent; of a lady who shouted out my name aloud from the other end of the lawn…
In no time I excused myself from the league of extra-ordinary gentlemen and approached the desperate housewives…The bevy of women whom I offered a polite Namaste to… were desperate for a different reason
For quite sometime It had seemed to me that the entire universe had only one thing to say to me ever since I joined college and here it went again with Mehta Aunty ”Ohhhh…shrill how thin have you grown…Diet??? U girls today all wanting to attain size zero….how dark has your complexion become??”
The same IVRS like reponse from my side
“Ohhhh…Aunty the Goddamn MESS food is the reason for all this..raison d’etre”
This is how Sharma aunty started..words pouring out from those heavily lipsticked pout ”Arey Beta..Ditch what uncles say…A girl however bristling with degrees is incomplete if she doesn’t find a suitable match..education and ambition is fine but not too the extent that you fall short of good guys in the community…remember no guy would ever like a girl more qualified,educated or rich than him…”
“She should know to cook,sew and be polite and courteous to all and look after the house..”
God!!From frying pan to fire!!! I was better off with Uncles there,so what if it came at the cost of passive smoking and choking my lungs…
I was now in a brain haywire situation….
Adding to all this..Gupta aunty delivered the coup de grace by saying..
“Ohh dear you’ve become so pretty..and in about a year u’ll even start to work…wow!! U remember my son Mohan..yeah he’s a doctor in the army now..he’s here why don’t the two of U meet sometime..look!!he’s right there…”
SOS I messaged mom and pressed the panic button on my cell..
“DAD,you’ll have to take me out of this place..right now”
To be continued..........

EYES WIDE SHUT!

often I have tried pinching myself..or asked others to pinch me
often I have tried to jerk my legs vigorously..
often I have rocketed to the nearest water point, splashed water on my face,wet my eyes
All in an attempt to remain awake in the class..

In many cases the above operations have been doomed..
What follows is..
*continuous batting of eyelids(as a tube light in a voltage fluctuation)
*the smudge like marks or the running ant like handwriting on the notebook in front of me...followed by the slipping of pen from my hand..
the handwriting turns good,bad and then ugly...and then blank....
Note the way my handwriting deteriorates..(not a drunken driving add!)







How often have you been caught stretching arms..and opening that big mouth with the annoying(to others) AWWHHHHHHHH..sound..
then find some weird muscle in your neck stretched beyond repair and paining like hell..
or even worst you find that the entire class is suddenly looking at you..making you realise..hey!whats so special abt me today!!
Assess the situation and curse yourself for sleeping or curse the external disturbing/waking agent..

The next time any one of us is nabbed yawning
in the class by the teacher..and asked "how dare you yawn in my class?"

here's what you can explain to him...
You can try to explain to your teacher"Sir I was Just yawning ,not sleeping..
The primary reason behind yawning is to control brain temperature. It cools off your brain, much like a fan cools off the inside of a computer.Also, that yawning is caused by lack of

oxygen not necessarily lack of sleep or boredom. Another speculated reason for yawning is nervousness and is also claimed to help increase the state of alertness of a person—paratroopers have been noted to yawn in the moments before they exit the aircraft."
Also tell him...that it has been established by Science that Yawning reflex is contagious and spreads.. if one person yawns, this may cause another person to "sympathetically" yawn.

Observing another person's yawning face (especially his/her eyes), even reading, or thinking about yawning, can cause a person to yawn...
So you see its not all your fault,Prof!!!nor should you be conscious or guilty or indignant that you made us yawn...

.
Pretty often you might be surreptitious in your attempts pretending to be hiding behind the book,or resting your face,hiding those guilty sleepy eyes just behind the back of your hand...when you realise that you've succeeded in fooling the prof...and enjoyed those few moments of spiritual bliss,dreaming about the best food,outfits,places,crushes in sleep..away

from all those shady free body diagarams, puzzling circuits and mystifying equations...
I have taken such "power naps" in the midst of a classical concerts...
and trust me!! also in the midst of an electrifying rock concerts.
I have dozed off in bathrooms,in the midst of telephonic conversations,meals,even face to face conversations...


Well most of the times I have been successful in my super slumbers..
but many times not...
Like in the first year when the class was held in the huge lecture hall with 120 students..people used to make a beeline for the farthest benches..read a book,spot others upto something

while I busy in SLEEP

tragedy struck when we shifted to a smaller classroom with a strength of about 60..
Diplomatic immunity as my frnd calls it is "sitting on the first bench,you can just sleep by covering your face,manoj kumar style..and go unnoticed,while prof will be busy casting a suspicious glance at the back benchers"

I guess it worked
It was just one day when I failed to sit on the first bench when some overtly strict(read:nutty) professor..whose class was always marked by pin drop silence lulled me to sleep...
Zzzzzzzzz...Zzzzzzz....
suddenly I listen to Ravana roaring..
and there he was standing with arms akimbo,like any jailor at guantanamo bay..ready to take me to task..



In reflex I sprang out of my seat to stand and save my life
The Prof asked me what he had been teaching...i glance at the board ,..clueless i muttered letters written on the board..
The next I hear is a crackling 100 decibel"GET OUT OF THE CLASS"
Man..I did something exceptionally "coool" in college..got thrown out of the class..

days continued..while I tried hard not to sleep in his class..his terror reigned...

Semester changed and so did teachers.. so I was back to my business..
On a kinder occassion a highly esteemed Prof caught me in the act
One fine day in His usual lectures..My vertebrael column was closing in from the 90 deg. to the table to 60..45..and finally approaching to 0 deg to the table
when he points me out.."and there we have someone sleeping...Tell me do I sound like your dad who probably had been a good bed time storyteller or lullabye singer to you in your hey

days???"
I just tried to figure some excuse but mumbled a sheepish apology...

He saw me sleeping in his class even after that day when he had given me his "piece of mind"...but I think he'd given up on me...
some people are just too impossible,irreparable,incorrigible....he must have thought


Its not that I am nocturnal and suffer from a sleep deficit...I have slept in class even after having 10 hrs sleep at night..
So you know its not all my fault!

I didnt much like the movie SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE but as a little girl I always fancied SLEEPING BEAUTY..
During summers you can blame the sweltering heat and the sleep inducing heat wave that keeps you confined in your nest...thus leaving you with no option but to sleep..
During rains..the weather becomes so gloomy and mundane that its hard to stay active...so sleep..
During winters its so comfortable to be wrapped us and cozily sleep..
But just a Word:
"NO Dream comes True untill we Wake Up and goto work"..
Having said that..my blog uploaded..my job done...Off I go...Zzzzzz
While you can YAAWWWNN as the blog entry ends!!

A LOT LIKE LOVE

I used to trace this route everyday...returning from the public library,which was a respite for me during those days when one starts getting bored of vacations..
There was this couple whom I saw..they used to frequent the library very often..
While the girl unearthed books in those sections where i found my fiction collection,the guy kept himself busy with newspapers,history and magazine section..
At the eatery close by they would sit and devour snacks..feeding tit-bits to each other..breaking into chuckles...at times even ended fighting,slapping each other in jest......

As the road forked into two separate streets..the boy and girl parted..said goodbyes to each other..
They moved a few steps away...and turned back,to get a final glimpse of each other .
I could sense their longingness for each other...they didn’t want to leave ...
Until the guy uttered the words from a distance..”I LOVE YOU”...
She stood there smiling,frozen,blushing only to wave her hand out to him.....and perhaps became conscious of a third person observer(me) who was an eye witness to the sweet adieu...and all she could do was tap herself on her head...as if feeling stupid....All I did was gave the girl a smile............
The next time I saw them..they were sharing the same umbrella...on a rainy,windy evening...
Much as i would not have liked to look at them,The romantic in me couldn’t resist.
For the sake of vicarious pleasure I looked at them..
In a tizzy the guy was on his knees,hands folded as if praying to the girl,serenading her..
“WEIRD??? CRAZY.....FOOLISHLY ROMANTIC....”
Then why was it making me smile,and why did I not turn my gaze away from them??
Maybe that’s the stuff dreams are made of..............
Only later did the girl box his ears,and they started to walk to the fork where they parted,smiled,waved......turned and looked back at each other..again and again...


Days passed by,and my long vacation was coming to an end..
I didn’t get to see them again..
It was only a few days back that I saw them together again at a Gift Shop.....
Buying each other valentine’s gift...probably

But alas!their day will be ruined!
In a country where the vanguards of “culture” are the youth who are unemployed,and who have nothing to do.....
Honestly the only identity about BAJRANG DAL I am aware of is their protests against Valentine’s Day on the pretext of safeguarding our culture....
Awww Come’on!
Do I need to mention the Khajuraho temples were built over a span of 200 years, from 950 to 1150AD??

Don’t we know how Lord Rama won Sita’s heart or for that matter Arjun wooed Draupadi in a Swayamvar..... the Girl had her own choice even then you see!!
And who needs to tell them about the God who portrayed various roles: a god-child, a prankster, a model lover, a divine hero and the Supreme Being.Lord Krishna .The stories of his play with the gopis (milkmaids) of Vrindavana became known as the Rasa Lila.These became important as part of the development of the Krishna bhakti traditions worshiping Radha Krishna. Krishna and Radha have been epitomised by Hindu Mythology as eternal lovers...who never really married each other...
Our Indian culture in the antiquity has been liberal and very frankly open minded..
Parvati is depicted as interested in Shiva's tales and appearance from her very birth and finally remembering her last life as Sati. As Parvati grew into a young woman, she began tapas (austerities) to please Shiva to grant her wish to reunite with him. She is portrayed as surpassing all other ascetics in penance, undergoing mortifications. Finally, Shiva tests her devotion by sending an attendant or appearing himself in disguise to criticize Shiva. Untouched by the act, Parvati retains her desire for Shiva compelling him to marry her. After the marriage, Parvati moves to mount Kailash, the residence of Shiva.
Now who says that a girl and guy should tie(the knot) or else die??
So why see a girl meeting a boy as a taboo??
Why go about hitting women who are dancing in pubs??
Why go inside head post offices and vandalize it because postal department has been selling and conveying Valentine’s greetings??(Atleast that’s generating some revenue for the postal dept.)
Agreed most of us celebrate the day without actually knowing the history behind the day....
What’s the harm in spending a day of fun and frolic with the special one in the lovely spring??
Calling it a money spinning iniative by Archies,Hallmark,florists,bakeries...
We need a running economy...dont we??
So
My dear Moral police officers,custodians of “culture”..
Please use whatever sense u have left,or better seek an asylum..
Let us live in love and peace....
As for my valentine wish goes...
These lines from Beautiful Mind quoted by John Nash say it all



“i have always believed in numbers and equations and logics that lead to reason..
And after a lifetime of such pursuits i ask what truly is logic who decides reason...
my quest has taken me to the physical ,metaphysical..delusional and back...
And I have made the most important discovery of my career..most important discovery of my life...
It is only in the mysterious equations of love that analogical reasons can be found..
I am only here because of you..
You are the reason I am..You’re all my reasons...Thank you”

Ho!Ho!Ho!

EVENT: MOOD INDIGO 2008(Asia's Largest Cultural College Fest)
VENUE: SJM School Of management,IIT POWAI,IC 3
DATE: 21st december 2008
COMPETITION's NAME: 'TWAS BRILLIG(CREATIVE WRITING)
TOPIC:"Ho!Ho!Ho!"
TIME:10 a.m
RULES:1)write your details,reg no.,college's name,phone no. on the postcard.
2)The creative writing entry should not extend 55 words.
3)articles,1-2 lettered words to be considered in the total count of words.
4)Multiple entries from a single participant is welcome.



ENTRY NO.1

Ho!Ho!Ho!




She ran from streets to stations,
selling her handmade creations,
shouting "Ho!Ho!Ho!" as if to boast,
the christmasness of red Santa-caps,worn in parties they host.

Then came a man who went gunning down,
everyone in that town
She asked "What you from this bloodshed gain?"
Her "Ho!Ho!Ho!" never heard again......
(55 words exactly,In wake of terrorist attacks on innocent citizens of Mumbai)

ENTRY NO.2

Ho!Ho!Ho!





Its Christmas in the air,
but there's recession and despair,
I've been fired from my job
left only to sob!sob!

I see children hosting a party,
and spring at this opportunity,
Rs 100 I get per hour,
to dress as Santa Claus in the bazaar,
"Ho!Ho!Ho!" I Scream
Is this a Dream????........
(55 words exactly,in wake of recession and job cuts)

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS......

PROLOGUE
october 31st:
This is something people don't generally expect from pretty damsels in college,as these are the wonder years,
girls titivate in a bid to become the next beauty pageant winner..(atleast this is what one draws from
the movies.)
Girls turned up at 12 in the common room not to sashay and sway,dressed in attire of Dracula, Noorie ,Satan and some Pillow ghost monsters..
but to dance deviously and to mumbo jumbo to
the tunes of "du hast mish".."aaja gufaaon mein aa"
HALLOWEEN they call it in the west,just gave another of those countless reasons to act whacky
see it to believe it!




sweet november 1:
" you play cricket?"asked R
my reply"oh yeah"
"then come ,we should form a team"said R.
my reply" excuse me! i thought you just asked if I booked the tickets?"
I've not followed cricket since 2003 world cup..ever since the entire batting line up was gobbled up by the aussies in my jinxed presence.
But never mind..Inspired.."this googlied maiden decided to slip in the cricket gully and give a full toss to the game knowing fully well that she is as
blind as a bat"
well,apparently my cricket knowledge is limited to the hero worshipping by my friends.

outcome:
Guys in the audience shout,nag aloud!
the all girls team "Just Chamka" wins the league match heroinically with a misfielding from miss fielding(yours truly).

November 2(the real halloween strikes 2 days later):
As a part of our sunday fitness regime,my friend Lax asked if we could just take a walk!I ditched my plan of jogging,and joined her on our way to the sports complex.
We spot the same profs with milk cans in their hand coming down the way,discussing their usual topics"socio-political scenario of India"
The sports complex has its shutter closed as its "getting prepared for the sports event in the evening"(trust me it isn't a venue for any celebrity wedding!)
Sighing!on our way back the OC road,(also referred to as the lovers' lane).
The the picturesque landscape is breathtaking..the jungle and river on one side and the college campus on the other.
But this day was not the same..
A few paces away from the OC,near the crest,just where the serene road starts we look back as we have an eerie sense of being followed.
Lax and I look back to see a man who seem to have appeared behind us from nowhere..
The two of us gave each other strange looks,as we were disconcerted by what we saw..
we could read each others' mind which was like asking each other"Are you seeing the same thing that I am?"
We realised what we saw,enough to make a chill run down our spine.
The man was 10 feet away and a thin built,a localite tresspasser,height 5'5",wearing a blue green jacket,and pants,fiddling with his genitals.
The next moment we heard someone blabber something vaguely from behind.
The sheer presence of mind on the part of Lax,as she raised her I-POD,to catch a reflection of what was behind.
And She screamed"Shrill,he's closing in on us"
My reflex,I start running,frantically,as I think Lax too will do the same.
It's then that Lax shouts and yells"shrill stop,don't run"!
I see Lax with her arms akimbo,facing him,growling at him.
I did exactly the same.Growled like an animal at the highest possible decibels.
The stalker runs back into the wild,hopping and running,like a steeplechase sprinter.
For a minute i was only convulsing.It was then that Lax told me that he had reached barely 2-3 feet behind us with his pants down!
I could only marvel at my friend's presence of mind as she worked the self defence tactics in a jiffy.
"since the guy was not too tall and muscular,he could not have done much harm to both of us,and sprinting would not have been a good solution as the
road was long and desolate,the only way to defend would in this case be to overpower with confidence.
our immediate reaction was to report it to the chief guard as it could be averted had a guard been in sight.
the chief guard's response was "What is meant to happen will happen,it s not within our wishes,We'll station a guard there,from 6 to 7,though he's always there at that spot noon onwards"

As we narrated this account in the hostel,some of the girls shied away thinking it was a "dirty talk",while I was just indebted to Lax and was in awe of her courage.

EPILOGUE
Folks will still romanticize the OC way,I will take time to appreciate the beauty of the place.
Had we gone to our Hstl. supdt. her obvious reaction would be"Girls should not go jogging,so no more jogging on that way"
MY REQUEST TO MY READERS:
"It can happen to anyone,anytime,anywhere,SO please do raise a voice,become aware,take self defence lessons"

FANaticism

What makes Pappu sardar celebrate Madhuri Dikshit's birthday by distributing sweets free of cost in Jamshedpur??MF hussain making her the theme of his paintings??

Why was Sourabh Dada forced to take the visage of a Sikh turbaned man last year during Durga Puja celebrations in Kolkata so that he goes unrecognised??

What makes Beatles,Pink Floyd legends??

What makes Shah Rukh Khan movies hit??

What makes hundreds of people sit,scream,cry outside the Kodak theatre,as the stars afoot the red carpet when the Oscar Awards are about to start??

Worse...
This incident shocked the tennis world on April 30, 1993. During a quarterfinal in which Monica Seles was leading 6–4, 4–3, a 38-year-old deranged fan of SteffiGraf, Günter Parche, ran from the middle of the crowd to the edge of the court during a break between games and plunged a boning knife between Seles's shoulder blades. She was quickly rushed to a hospital. She did not return to competitive tennis for over two years.Parche was charged following the incident but was not jailed because he was found to be psychologically abnormal and was instead sentenced to two years' probation and psychological treatment.

A personal account:

When at all,I come across him on screen my eyes pop out to scan as much of him I can...to see as much of him I can..
If there's any distant song of his playing,I feel like springing on my feet,hopping around...
Is he an Eye candy??
No...
Am I just his fan??
Dont know..
Not that I think of him day and night...
How often have we been taken over by some phenomenal ,larger than life person in our life??
A person who means a demi-God to us!!
I know all the while people have thought him to be my one obsession..
but I wont denigrate it to something like "obsession"
neither do I want to extol it to "love"...much as i would love to...
It could be an admiration..a big one..hard to explain..

This feeling that made me buy his posters...
cut out any trivia/pictures related to him from the newspapers.
I remember asking mom to buy that Filmfare issue which had special portfolio shoots of his and I still treasure it somewhere away from dad's eyes..
It made me download his uncountable pictures..
Not to mention I keep them as screensavers/wallpapers ..
It made me wait anxiously for Fridays as his movies released,even when exams were in close proximity..
I once coaxed and pestered my cable operator to air his movie,and he did,a day before my 10th board exams,and much to my parents' horror I watched it...
Then getting highest in that subject,I credited it not that much to my teachers and my hard work,but to the fact that I had seen my "HERO" a day before the exam...

I've prayed for him,celebrated his birthday,been gifted his cds' by my friends..
I am proud to assert that he has been the only On-screen star i've owed my allegiance to..
I've been loyal to him and this loyalty has only grown with time..
Back in school he became my identity,people identified me as his "FAN/some called me his AC"..
While a teacher kept a watchful eye on the love-birds in the school..she never bothered about me even though she knew fully well about my crush on him..
since his first movie when critics wrote him off for his inept acting skills..I stood by him..
I have been compared to the character of Guddi played by Jaya Bhaduri in the eponymous movie...
Friends have tried irritating,teasing me saying"He doesn't know to act"..
In defense I could only say"he's learning..."
"Isn't he too old for you,he has daughters??"
In retort"No plans of marrying him,by the way I can be a good baby sitter"
I however considered him flawless...impeccable and impervious to any criticism..
the perfectly chiseled frame,the baritone voice,the rigorous effort he put into his acting..
I have waited and watched..No Hollywood Hunk for me...Desi Rules me..
And when i went to see his latest ;that has swayed the nation and made the audience swoon..
I felt like jumping out of my seat each time he came on screen..shout for him..cheer for him..
And in the scene where he gets a tepid response from his onscreen love,even after serenading her with a beautiful song ..i was almost choked...
"What an obnoxious,heartless woman can one be"I shouted it all aloud in the theatre.
Only to be glared angrily by onlookers..

Anyways,abandoning all that SHRILLONOMICS,I for the first time spent Rs.12 and downloaded that same song and have it as my hello tune today.
At the end of the movie however,my friends congratulated me..joined me in cheeing for him.."ROCK ON ARJUN"

Someday even my spouse will know that he can only play second fiddle to this great guy we know as ARJUN RAMPAL.



**Shrill:Arjun::shrill's mom:Dharamendra

KISMET CONNECTION

Even as this movie rakes "not so good" reviews(sorry for the euphemism),I certainly have no interest in naming my blog afer it..
nor am i writing a review on it..

But the only strand that can relate this movie to the blog is the actor...
Each time my Mom sees the poor cute boy on screen she utters sympathetically "poor boy,Miss size 0 dumped him..bad luck!!"
LUCK!and I aver..whose bad luck is my mom worried about ...the cute boy,the Miss size 0 or Chhote Nawab??

celebrities luck apart coming to the real frame....
one sunday morning:3rd aug.2008
Ganesha says by Mr.B. Daruwalla,(Is Mr.B. Daruwalla nicknamed Ganesha??The sole similarity between the deity and his disciple
being their tummy sizes)
Taurus:
This is a week of tensions,worries,unplanned demand and unforeseen expenses.pets children dependents,older relatives will cause anxiety.you need to cope up.your partner too does cavill at pitching in.

exasperated I venture online and make a frantic effort to log on to another(rival) newspaper website with a hope of something better for me in the offing...
eventually the rivalry between the two publishing houses pays off..

Yippey! this one was directly the opposite!
Taurus:
the tree of life an ancient egyptian hieroglyph brings satiety
and pleasure to your life as family and personal relationships come together happily.your family and professional roots are strong and
you could further build upon them with the help of your spouse.Buying and selling is gainful at present.

Come what may..im least bothered,atleast a good horoscope heals like a placebo(physical healing caused due to mental healing)
Provides a feel good factor..
But not in every case..
as an e.g. this guy's case i know who is sick and tired of the falsifying optimism he's pushed into each time he reads his horoscope...
supposed to be a true virgo..he complains how very cliched and untrue horoscopes can be..as they promise him "love in the air,companionship,romantic getaway,
candlelight dinner,happiness and harmony,relationship,spouse support" lined up each week
none of them materialise..
the obvious reason:
he's single,trying and has been waiting since a long time..Good Luck buddy!

And how often have i seen we friends in the hostel pouncing onto a single paper..
No not to see our hearthrobs!not to read comics..Naah!!not to know about the weather report and
definitely not to know about what's going on where...
but to see to what soothsayers have said for us!
one asking the other.."hey!read mine"
The horoscope horror reaches an all time high when there's an exam,viva-voce round the corner..and at times even a scuffle with one's loved one.
Remember the soothsayer warning the mighty Julius Caesar about the Ides(15th) of March!asking him to not step out to senate lest he be killed..

Or the mighty Notradamus predicting doomsday!
Panditji asking Ash to mangle her "manglik" status by undergoing special rituals to ward off the imminent danger from her married life.

Ever tried zapping through breakfast news in the innumerable news channels/radio stations??
in case you havn't.. Do.
because the early morning the news channel has tarot card readers/crystal ball witches
soaked in jarring make up that leaves my aunty wondering"how could they be perfect such a make up early morning"
I jibe.."after all they've got kismet in their hands"

But one fine thing that leaves me amused is numerology..
ok..i am shrill..my bday falls on 11 th May 19*#
I am a no.2 person according to numerology(as they say 1+1=2).
So how is my current spate of bad-luck gonna change??
i know this is how a numerologist would answer:
since its the 8th month of the year..and your birthday falls on the 5th month i.e may..
so 8-5=3...
wait untill the next month i.e 9th untill it becomes 9-5=4..and things will be just fine..
since 3 is not in accordance with your lucky number 2 so this is a bad time for you..
Had i told him that this month is turning out absolutely fantastic for me..
A numerologist's explanation would be :
absolutely..ur name is shrill..a 6 lettered name.
8th month it is...
so 8-6= 2 your lucky number..so things have to be fine.

Hmmm..does that mean i change my name to shriell(7 lettered) in the coming month??.
so that next month (9-7=2)proves lucky!
I should go ask Suniel(prior sunil)Shetty or viveik(prior vivek) oberoi that!

And have we not been mystified by luck charms??
Horseshoes,fortune cookies and mascots in the west,and of course the drawing up of "kundalis" and prescribing gems for vicissitude here..
So much so some even attributed Princess Diana's accident to the diamond rock she had on her finger at the time of her death..
on a serious note i have seen people suffering from severe depressions,and taking such silly prophecies a bit too seriously..
Kismet...Science or superstition ??
U can take your pick..call it fate or fatality...

"Fate is a term concocted by people of dim intellect to give them momentary relief during their period of trial"-Sage Vishwamitra
"The fault dear Brutus is not in our stars but in our selves "-Julius Caesar
"may be ive been at the right place at the right time"-Bill Gates
"Wait till i refer to the almanac for the auspicious launch for my next post"-Shrill

PC Gaming (Please Cease Gaming)

Apologies!!Apologies!!for the long sabbatical from the blogosphere.
All, I'll say is that I was reduced to the state of a Palestinian refugee while my brother(read:world's most irritating guy)became the Israeli conscript.
And in our case the bone of contention not being the GAZA Strip,but my HCL beanstalk PC..which remained under the seizure of the conscript all the while..
Needn't mention the role of US diplomats being played by my parents who let my bro take control of this holy territory..while their constant efforts to assuage me failed..
I tried to tell them the real WMD(in this case Weapons of Mental Destruction) were the GAMES installed in the PC..so first these WMDs needed to be contraband,then should one go for the rest of the grease..
Our residence resembled some war-prone battlefield with guns firing and mortar roaring..all virtually on the PC
Down memory lane
It all started way back with the Little Master video games we had got
back then were mario,tetris and my super cool man ..the pacman.
Game cartridges and highest levels attained remained the topic of discussions in birthday parties..
And now the only conversation that is broached up in labs.,canteens,events in college and even at home is CS..CS..CS and other games like something called DOTA,HALO and what not..
while guys shouted Counter Strike i wondered how about countering this with a strike??
Not that I'm playing the Devil's Advocate:there are just a few facts I'd like to share..
Agreed that such Games provide recreation and at times can also be attributed to developing logic and skills..
But the staggering extent to which they've been lionised and are being practised in the same way,is what is the cause of concern
They seem to have become objects of obsession,insanity..
* A recent report showed that 45% of heavy video game players and nearly a third of avid gamers are in the 6 to 17 year old age group (NPD Group Inc., 2006).
*It leads to aggression and belligerent attitude the players after all that "headshot" after all that "camping in Terrorist-spon and CounterTerrorist spon".
God knows what vicarious pleasure does it give to such gamers by firing guns virtualy??The Indian Army suffers from a dearth of soldiers!why not try the real life battle?
* Many games only offer an arena of weapons, killings, kicking, stabbing and shooting.(Research by Anderson & Dill, 2000; Gentile, Lynch & Walsh, 2004).
* Over-dependence on video games could foster social isolation, as they are often played alone.Why not hit the football ground or tennis court for recreation and stop complaining about poor state of sports in the country??But no..EA Sports is a better option for such sloths..after all"its in the game"
* Women are often portrayed as weaker characters that are helpless or sexually provocative.
* Many games do not offer action that requires independent thought or creativity.
* Games can confuse reality and fantasy.
For more on Fundas log on http://www.ama-assn.org/ama/pub/category/17694.html
"ALL RIGHT LET's MOVE ON..."(CS crap again!)
so if Microsoft Xbox says "Game on"..I say "No game"

Let me start with what ROALD DAHL had to say about TV a few decades ago.
It is as true for PC/Video gaming today as it was for television in the yester years.
With all due respect to Mr. Dahl i've taken the liberty of contorting(read:tampering) his poem Television...
so let me call it
THE VIDEO GAME
The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your Moniter set --
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink --
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'

P.S.Ministry of Health(Dr. Anbumani Ramadoss) are you listening??

MOTHER...SWEET MOTHER OF MINE..

9 months you held me in,
While I must have given you pain within,
Then on this day I was ushered out,
With a shrill cry and innocent pout.


“It’s a baby girl” you must have been told,
Your hands would have become so cold,
As you must have held me with your palms unfold,
Down your cheeks,a tear or two may have rolled.

Sweet lullaby,you would sing to me,
“Peek-a-boo..peek-a-boo”,u’d play to quiet me,
At odd hours during nights when I would scream,
You would wake up and stroke me back to dream.

Dress me for school,with ponytails neatly done in,
And scold me,when I didn’t finish the tiffin,
And listen to my teachers as they would complain,
About your little girl’s mischiefs and shenanigan.

Play an umpire to the disputes I embroiled with ur little son,
And then buy me the Barbie and the water gun,
Not informing dad,you would screen my errant behavior,
No wonder you’ve always been my savior.

Save those extra pennies,by saving on the budget,
To spend them on my dresses ,fancies and nugget,
When on any failure I would grow despondent,
You would as usual come and be the closest attendant.

You would make me mug up the multiplication tables,
help me recite the poems and fables,
Drop and take me back from my tuition classes at night,
Always keeping me under your caring sight.

Prepare those delicious dishes in a trice,
As and when I demanded as per my choice,
Give me a massage when I would be in pain,
Oil my hair whenever I felt any strain.

As time passed by,and I entered teenage,
There were moments of tension and rage,
You would scold,you would chide,
But then make peace as u knew ur girl was on a high tide.

In competition,and examination or any other strategy,
or the very recent chicken pox malady,
You’ve been God’s angel to me,
Thank you mummy..love to thee..


Even if I try …It’s impossible being as u can be..
So come what may..just want to see you happy..

LOVE-LINGO

This is a story about 3 ppl..two frnz S and M who are friends since school..and J who studies in S's colg presently.
M met J sometime back and so S is a common friend..
A Chat oneday..
M: hi!
u there?????
S: hi
M: hows life......
S: haan ..bt a bit busy
M: ???
S: fine hai
M: r u busy right now?????
??????
S: ya kinda
M: mmm....going out with someone or what????????colg koi mil gaya kya?????
S: nahi re..tu bhi na..
ppl can be busy in other boring stuffs like lab journals..:(
i am just"enjoying the ride" like EVA MENDES in hitch..
M: ohhk....
hey do u get to talk to J???
S: not these days..havnt seen him in colg since many a days..
M: hey.....tell me one thing...
wot kind of guy is he???
S: very friendly..gets along well wid evry1..
but why should u be asking that?the two of u had spent some 2 months in that summer camp together..and u told me that the 2 of u have become very good frnz..
S: i think he's a good guy
M: hey....i m getting some feeling for him now days
........
S: HMMMM.....:)Oho!!Valentine's day effect??..Valentine's day is just Archies'/hallmark's marketing strategies..;)
nonetheless..go upto him and tell him
M:it isnt that easy..and what if he doesn't feel the same??
S:hmmm..commitmentphobia in guys..haha..like Salman Khan...
M:stop kidding S..
S:dekh M..(now serious)
i'll tell u smthin..
u need to know a person really well before u have feelings..
I don't think there's anything called "love at first sight"..farce..
if u genuinely like person u,whom u've known really long..u should tell the person
and i know the kind of person J is
he will appreciate it
and continue being frnz irrespective of the fact whether or not he likes u
got me?
M: hmmmm
me: waise he's a popular guy
and has lot many female frnz
it may be coz of his friendly attitude
M: i think u r right......
S: wot?
M: ohhk.....
M: actually..
wt i feel is...
S: say?
what?
M: now a days i m like him very much
we've connected really well..and have talking a talk a lot in these 10 months...
S: achha..thats the reason fr u coming online so often??;)
M: n he is very very understanding,caring guy ..we share same interests..books,movies,and practically most of the things..

S: Oh! tht could just be good friendship too..see i dunno much abt him
M: he understands me a lot..
S: ahem...but i know he's very much like us
likes talkin to evry1..no airs, no attitude..
S: ok..and if he is understanding he very much wll understand this too..
M: really.....
S: haan...
but then again u gotto think other stuffs too..
all i say is..decision is urs
M: ............what...??????

S: U need to connect really well..
and u can think of continue further..
personally time pass romance and flings don't appeal to me..like just going out with someone for the heck..
its better to stay frnz rather than promise someone something u cant fulfill..something that leads to agony for both of u later..
..now this is what i think..u may diasgree..
think about the future too..
M: nahi re
S:say"u see urself in a relationship wid him?"
ask this question to urself?
M: i asked myself lots of time...i need his presence in my life
S: waise u wont know that untill u tell him..;)
M: mmm....thanks....
S:me: friends are fr such things
hmmm..
again this was a suggestion..u better think ..
M:i think i'll tell him..
S:and evn if he doesnt reciprocate
u still shud continue being frnz..
after all u can't force him to like u..
and again..dont flow wid my advice
M: ohhhkkkk....u think he'll like me?
does he have a girlfriend????
S: dear honestly,i dunno much..
u are really good..that's why he's such a nice frnd of urs..
and regarding girlfrnd..he has friends fr sure..but dunno abt girlfriend..
M:I m the most closest frnd of him
he cares for me a lot
he is like my mind reader..
i think he too feels for me..
S: hmmm..on that note i'll tell u sumthing told by a frnd to me..it might sound deterring..but..warning u just in case.." when u like someone,there is this involuntary feeling which makes you feel that he too feels for u..that might not be the case.."..he may be just good to u because he's good to all..i'm not leading u astray but telling u something u shud know.

M...hmmmm....yaa..its too confusing yaar??..u sound really experienced..
S:sure it is confusing..and experienced coz of frnz like u..man!u ppl have made me a LOVE GURU..
M: mmm...chal then...I'll talk to him.
S: haan
gud luck
M: talk to u later....
gn....
bye
sweet dreams
S: yeah yeah..i'll dream about george clooney..;)
bye
only later did S come to know that J and M were already "set"/"going out"/"seeing each other" and that J was talking to S impersonating as M from her gtalk id..big time prank..
this is what I call Love's labour lost..

THE RUNAWAY STRIDE

So the paradoxically lazy blogger is back here after a hiatus..It’s been a year of somewhat blogging..
"some" coz MY BLOGS are few in number and "what" coz u have every reason to ask me what exactly is my blog doing here..
Well Good Fellas! Thanks for pouring down your comments on my blog…(a SMILE and a gracious bow) because that’s the only way I know my blog is being trampled by bloggers here in the blogosphere.
Mind you!this is the only place where Miss Blogger eagerly waits for Guys’ to make comments ...
So the next time even if u don’t find any blog worth lauding…go ahead..put down ur scorn and dole out ur critique ..
E-blogger has empowered us all..U can make those disparaging comments as anonymous.. In which case it may be deleted or U can drop ur comments with ur name..In which case ur page will be added to My Hateable (Waiting for Internet Explorer to come up with this antithesis of My Favourites )and so have I been empowered...
Talking of empowerement..much brouhaha is raised about female empowerment these days..I am no exception to this feminist outcry..
And I did what we the fairer sex..(in my case wheatish) do with all our MIGHTY HEART…went out shopping (read window shopping).
After all Girls just wanna have some FUN..
So, in the company of my buddy(Maggi),we entered a Watch showroom.. Citizen and Omega..and other jewels.. Hmmm…priced at Rs.28000..I wondered that WEALTH is even more than my semester fees…
Shrillonomics as usual had to creep in ..28000 means I could have some 28000/1000=28 fastrack watches...
Or as my friend looks at it..28000/0.83 = 33734 panipuris..
Ogling at them was enough to satisfy our craving..
The best part of the day came when we entered a A Big Shop..
This time we had a ready plan of action.. picked 3 of the costliest and the most classiest outfits on display.. So what if we can’t empty our already empty pockets..
I was getting dressed to THRILL. A unique sting operation. hatched in my mind.
at least try the outfits..feel good...capture few pics...keep them as memento..much as tourists do when they dress up in the ethnic way at the tea gardens in Darjeeling..or at the Dal lake in Kashmir ..
And yes!thanks to nokia E50..If Van Gogh is admired for self portraits ..I should for self-photos..
Only later when I came out of the trial room did I realize there were 3 or 4 sighing ppl waiting for their turns outside the trial room..
The salesman asked..”So, Madam,which of these?”
I went point blank..”none”.
He asked with an angry scorn”why?”
Snootily this time..”Didn’t like them..”

But then there were a few things I thoroughly liked this christmas vacation..
The idea came when my parents were away from the city for a week..so I had to take to donning the chef’s toque(hat) and apron..(figurative expressions only because I don’t believe in such groundwork before cooking…after all its cooking..no campaigning!)..End result..pure HEALTH as you can see..



Caution: never judge a meal by its photo…

Take a look at these..






while I was trying to paint out subtleties of femininity..
A neighbourhood kid remarked with some WISDOM..”Hey!don’t you know to draw faces??Is that why u’ve hidden them?”..
And that’s when I asked him to get out of my face..and mumbled that catchphrase of mine..”why always me? Hope this year has more good things in hold..”

P.S:- May you be blessed with all the block lettered words mentioned above in the blog; this new year…….